You know, the big thing to always remember is you are NOT the only one having these problems or concerns if you will!! I decided long time ago if I can walk a little with my cane, use my scooter and still drive my car hey, I'm doing just fine! I know with my age (71 in July) and what I came through I would never walk or do what I did before the stroke and I'm OK with that!

See, many doctors and specialist in their field told me I was very lucky to have lived and with the brain cells I lost in the right brain I'm very thankful to be walking and using what I got left! Now by chance I get better I'll take every bit of it with gladness! Maybe then I can bowl again and run a bowling Pro Shop like I had!

Lydi, I used to find that with Ray, we would go to the neurologist and he woauld say it is likely this is happening or that is happening. If I felt that was an explanation for something that was fine, it had happened, we had dealt with it. Sometimes I would not think what he said was right as Ray seemed to be getting better not worse.

Ray's total damage has been over 21 years so I guess what you could say is that he has been lucky to have those extra 21 years. The past year or so he has had a lot of downturns due to the May 2011 stroke and the series of seizures so he is much depleted as far as what he can do goes. As you know he is in a nursing home now. But we can still have those happy days when we sit out in the sun together.

He will be 70 in September and is lucky to have lived that long. If he had died in 1990 with the first stroke or in 1999 with the major strokes four weeks apart think of all he would have missed.

I hope you find your mojo and go on enjoying life.

Sue.

Lydi :

I am sorry you are feeling down today after visiting doctor today, but think of this as we get old none of us will be like we were in past or 20 years ago. yesterday is gone for all of us all we have now is our today & the way we are, like it or not, we have to make best out of what we have today & does it matter what doctor says or confirms your losses. I feel we are still here & we have to make best out of every day, happiness is a choice. Enjoy today rather worying about future & crying over lost past. I hope you get serenity in serenity prayer :God grant me serenity to accept the things I can not change couage to change things I can & wisdom to know the difference

Asha

Lydi: I'm not wild about dr visits either and I have a lot of specialists I have to visit..I know I will never get my old life back when I had just one visit a year with my primary care. But it is what it is and I am alive thanks to the grace of God. I too say the serenity prayer daily and that is sometimes how I made it through. The thing about depression is that I know it will get better because I've been through it before. So take each day a a gift and think good thoughts. Leah