Well, who is having more fun that me? I posted about Mary Beth's weekend here and the great time we all had.

Monday Bruce's college roommate visited with the family dog - always a treat. We have a great yard for dogs and Callie really does listen to Don, but she found a rabbit burrow and that did not go well. Don's priority was to get Bruce out on the deck, so he had paid attention to the weather for the week and came on the best day. Normally I would not schedule back to back visits for Bruce like that. Both Don and Mary Beth involve him in everything. Plus Callie.

Sunday, after Mary left we still had our Sunday errands and Bruce napped for two hours - to be expected. But Monday morning he had Estim Bike before Don arrived and by 1pm I could see him wilting. Don left about 2pm and Bruce again took a two hour nap. I dressed for work and then got him up just before Pema arrived. Bruce prefers to do his personal stuff with me and that is always required after he sleeps.

Tuesday morning he had his post-Botox OT evaluation. OT knew he would not get any time from Insurance after the January injections, so told me to wait for this round. Rob adjusted Bruce's hand splint and gave him some new Estim values for the shoulder, but other than that, saw no improvement in the arm-hand. Neuro told us first week post-stroke that Bruce may never get his arm-hand back. But while this new eval is disappointing, we don't give up.

I was getting ready for work, Bruce was doing his Estim and he always gets a snack then. Bruce chose Cashews and since he is doing so well with the portion control, I said OK, that is your treat this week. Thank God I was in the kitchen and not upstairs when this happened. I could hear Bruce cough, not clear and continue coughing. I said take a drink and when he did not answer me, knew there was a problem. I Heimliched him twice when the sucker popped out. We laid down, I massaged his back to make sure he was clear and the cashews went right into the garbage! I considered calling out from work, but Pema assured me she was fine with him and would watch him through dinner.

I did not do any damage to his ribs, again Thank God. His chest was sore and of course, I know there was trauma to his throat, so was worried about dinner. He did fine. My real thanks goes out to Julie, who posted just this week about Larry's difficulties swallowing and with just that thinking and reminder, remembered my own advice.

So looking forward to chat, I got home late. Pema said all was well and Bruce was asleep. Got into my jammies and started up the computer, when wham, something bit me! Fortunately my foot swelled first, before my throat, so I was able to get to my Epi pen. Epinephrine has many bad side effects along with saving your life! LOL. So much for chat. But now I am up at least four hours, attending the toilet and trying to fill in the time until it wears off posting here. Hope I made sense.

Bruce, of course, woke up. Frustrated that he could not understand or help. Finally I medicated him and he fell back asleep.

Yesterday morning was the start of the three day heat wave. There was no way I could manage Bruce's leg on the bike, but we did get out for errands early and then home to AC. He was wonderful in understanding. Pema came early so I could get to my Ortho appointment, got there and Doc was behind 2 1/2 hours! I rescheduled that and went to work.

Part of these new caregivers is to allow me time to schedule appointments and down time for me. Not working out so well yet, but it is early. So Bruce will again go with me to Ortho on Monday and then to Estim bike.

Cathy called me this morning. Her child is sick. She was scheduled to come at 4pm. I had planned to do errands early due to the heat, but we did them yesterday. So we were going to cook and put up some meals and I slept in.

Work is crazy and I just have to try and put in some hours, so I called Erma and she could come in an hour. So it is "game time" and again Bruce is out of routine. We did have a nice afternoon-evening. I am always busy, but we did a special Debbie-Bruce dinner, always a priority when we can have dinner together and Bruce did have a nap, but did not finish his morning wash up with Erma, so we did the night wash up and change when I got home. Also he proceeded to start to eat dinner with his fingers - not allowed.

This is what upsets me. Personally I honestly think he forgets. The caregivers do alot for both of us, but I insist that Bruce do his own chores. Thing is they won't insist on using utensils, or his doing his wash up and clothes change with help. Again, a learning process and I do speak with Bruce about this. I just try to reinforce that in order to get strangers out of his home, he has to show me that he is independent and understands his responsibilities.

Another fun time tomorrow. Dentist for me, then work, so Erma will be here early.These caregivers are pros. You can leave them anything. But Bruce insists on personal stuff with me, so he will sit in his own pee for hours waiting for me. Again, tomorrow morning he will be out of routine, but I explained to him that we had to do personal business first thing and the rest Erma can handle. I have to go back to work at 4pm. By Saturday morning, Bruce will be talking to himself! And poor Kira is tied to my leg. Has no clue what is going on!

This is where the guilt kicks in. I did almost nothing for Bruce's physical recovery with the pool and bike. Yes, he had the cognitive stimulation with Mary Beth and Don. I accept that there are things that he wants only to do with me, and work around that. And in all fairness, that is also intimate time. But how did I go from Bruce being the priority to making him adjust to my schedule? And expect him to be able to cope with that? He is doing so well and understands that he has to make adjustments for the new caregivers, my back follow up but this is way too much for him to deal with. And for that, I am sorry. He is sound asleep, understands about tomorrow and wlll, bless him, get me up at 6:45 with coffee brewing! There never seems to be a right or wrong here. Never a positive outcome. Good weekend to all. Stay cool and hydrate! Debbie