I wrote this. my first blog, at least a month ago, and wondered why no one was commenting.......Sue just was kind enough to let me know yesterday that I saved the draft but did not publish it. Well hopefully this will be my first of many, thanks Sue!

Ray is coming along nicely, even if in small increments. Seems to be adjusting to upping his meds finally, although he still wakes at 5 or 6 AM and wants to go downstairs to finish sleeping on the couch. Hoping this phase will pass, as it does disrupt my usual schedule…. I have to be extra quiet with him in the middle of everything. But for some good news, we finally found an aide who is getting along with Ray like gangbusters. She is only assigned an hour or two shift twice a week right now but I asked the nurse if she could go to four hours each day at least, and she’s putting in a request. Ray likes her so much that I hired her on the side to stay with him today while I go to Arthur Ave for the afternoon. Lunch and Italian grocery shopping with old friends that I haven’t seen in ages; been looking forward to this solo trip for months. Our aide Pat talks to Ray like they’re old friends, they seem to be about the same age and grew up in very similar circumstances, plus her ex was an auto mechanic and after seeing photos of the Corvette turned out to be very knowledgeable in that area too. Today she is going to show him some computer games she likes, and is already on his case about getting up and moving around more. Hopefully she can get him to agree to his rescheduled Botox treatment this week. Might even take him for a ride to the beach if it’s nice. And!! she loves housecleaning, so this is a match made in heaven. She never sits down, except when she’s talking seriously to Ray. Hope she gets approved for more time, I’m holding my breath that it happens next week. I have a long list of things I’d love to do by myself, for a change!

Here’s a wonderful thing: I said something funny to Ray (wish I could remember what!) and he laughed out loud, for the first time. The most I ever get out of him is the rare smile. We’d watch the funniest movie and he’d sit stonefaced. But his time, he really laughed, a nice long one. Guess it’s rather complicated for the brain to process a joke, with all its nuances, we really take it for granted. He’s also getting sarcastic, which was such a big part of his old personality. When I say something he thinks is stupid, now he says “Yeah” in a questioning way that drips disdain. Love it. It’s great that the few words he has, he can use in so many ways. His friend Chris uses some sign language with him; whether Ray gets it or not I don’t know; but I’m thinking since Ray has learned to gesture his needs pretty well, maybe official sign language might be worth exploring too.

Tuesday Ray was scheduled for his regular Botox treatment, and I promised him after we’d go to a seaside restaurant as a reward. But he had a temper tantrum and refused to go at the last minute, so I had to make up a story to call him off . As soon as I hung up, he perked up and let me know he still wanted to go out to eat anyway. I said, no way; no doctor, no treats. But he put on such a cute smile, and wagged his head like a begging dog, I couldn’t say no. As we were leaving, he wheeled himself back into the den and came back with his reading glasses. He’s really thinking ahead! I lend him mine when he wants, but they are so much weaker I don’t know if they help at all. After we settled in, I picked up the menu and started to tell him what he probably wanted, since I figure I know him well enough. I said I know you’d like the seafood bisque and probably the gorgonzola crusted steak? But he reminded me I had his glasses, and then he picked up his menu and instead chose onion soup, and (a big surprise), spaghetti with all kinds of seafood in it. He's usually a red meat kind of guy. I was afraid they would be too sloppy, or worse yet, that he wouldn’t like the main dish at all, but he gobbled it all up and didn’t spill anything to boot. He seemed rather proud of himself, which made me proud too. We are meeting some new friends Monday for dinner at another upscale restaurant, we had met them just before the stroke and they don’t know us all that well'; but now I’m pretty sure it will go over just fine.