I had another scary afternoon. I was here for chat Wednesday morning 10am my time, enjoyed talking with the girls and about 11am Debbie farewelled me saying I should go and see Ray. That was great advice. I am glad I went over when I did. I often don't go on Wednesdays as I consider it my day off and do extra housework and some gardening. Ray seemed asleep when I got there so I wheeled him out into the courtyard. I thought he was just tired and would wake up naturally when he heard the chatter around him. He didn't wake up immediatley so I decided to let him sleep.

After a while I got worried. I went back to his room and got some cream, took off his shoes and socks and massaged his feet. He didn't wake up. He wriggled a bit and seemed to be waking but didn't come fully conscious. In the end one of the other carers went and got the nurse. She took a while coming but when she took his vitals, nothing wrong. She didn't like the look of him so she helped me take the comfy chair with him in it back to his room, put him on oxygen and he slowly came out of it. All of this took an hour!

By this time lunch was well past and his lunch had gone back to the kitchen. I stayed and the nurse got him to take some thickened fluids,gave me two lots and I gave him those and some yogurt and read to him etc. In the end I stayed about four hours. I am so tired now but at least when I left he was pink-faced and starting to answer questions. It is so scary sometimes. I know death isn't scary but the near-death experiences certainly are.

I just had a phone call to say Bible study is not on again tonight. One of our participants has her father in respite care and apparently she had a phone call today to say there is an emergency with him. She was hoping this was going to give her a break as although she doesn't live with him but she does put a lot of her spare time into keeping him in his own home. Been there, done that. Seems as if so many of those in their 50's are also caught up in looking after parents and trying to work full-time as well. Says nothing for the "safety net" our government (s) are supposed to provide for the elderly of the community in an effort to keep them in their own home. The person who rang me was working back at work, replacing someone who was off sick, so we all have our troubles and woes.

To stay in their homes most older folk need quite a bit iof help and if they don't have the money to provide this themselves there needs to be sudsidies. I know that sounds like I am asking for more government hand-outs but everyone deserves an old age where they are adequately looked after. Working your way through all of the research to get the care is a mine field wherever you are and so many of us give up and accept life at a very poor level. It seems to be a bit of a merry-go-round,and yet we have found our way here to Strokenet looking for help and support and got it, along with a lot of useable information so we are the lucky ones.

I have asked to be taken off the roster at church for a while if Ray doesn't improve as I want to give him more of my time in the mornings when he is brightest as well as over the lunch hour. I'll still attend church but leave at the end of the service. I am getting paranoid about him not having adequate food and enough drink to keep him hydrated. I read Debbie's blog "The Spoon" and saw not the funny side of it but the sad side of it, not enough CNA's to feed all of those that needed feeding. After all Debbie volunteered her services but the next time (or in our case any time) there may not be anyone else to volunteer and take on this mundane yet vital job.

I did get out in the garden for a while late this afternoon. I am trying to get the potplants weeded and fertilized and ready to thrive in Spring. There was not enough fertilizer, in fact hardly any in the container and so that is another item for my shopping list. I hope to go shopping tomorrow after my visit to Ray. I am back to wanting 28 hours in the day so there is time for me to do what I want to do. Because now I have to find the time to complete the gardening job.

I think I will look in the freezer and see if I can find adequate food of a nurtritional nature for my evening meal. I guess no-one is too worried about my intake of vitamins etc but it is all a part of "taking care of yourself".