"Hope magnifies what expectations minimize." If that isn't a nugget that helps, I don't know what one is. Hope has to be the thing that keeps survivors and caregivers going. I know that, for me, hope is even underneath my times of hopelessness.

I have been reading your postings for a while now. I've probably missed plenty but I have to say that I haven't read anything of yours that sounds like a lunatic. It may look that way to you when you re-read past posts but it doesn't come across that way. I know I often think I've said or done something horrifying and, when I check it out with the others involved, my interpretation of their reaction is all wrong.

None of us has this particular journey figured out. I know I sure don't. I think that's what makes this site so helpful. We are all stumbling along, doing our best to respond to a catastrophic event (or many) in a way that brings healing and renewal.

Thanks for your wisdom. Keep on blogging and posting. You do help and make a difference.

Donna

Well, I'm one that disagree in you saying you sound like a lunatic, far from it and you have a mind still! We all have disconnect between brain and body functions with a stroke of any level!

That's why we have expectations of our own not just what therapists have told us from day one and that leads us to our own hope...Hope we recover more than we were told and faster too, however in reality now we know recovery is slow at best but it does happen day after day in many of our cases!

I have to agree with Donna, hope magnifies what expectations minimizes!

Jamie :

I love your last line hope magnifies what expectations minimizes wow its deep one & so true. I enjoy your blogs they make me think. don't listen to that inner voice who keeps on telling you wrong stories about you.

Asha

Jamie, you most certainly do NOT sound like a lunatic....far from it. I also sometimes worry what people will think of my posts or that I am coming across as crazy. But then I remember that this site is for us to be able to say whatever we want and not worry about being judged by anybody. No matter what you say, there is always people out there reading it that are feeling the exact same way. Then there are other people who used to feel that way and have overcome it and give you advice and hope from their experiences.

There is nobody here that has helped me to deal with my depression more than you have. As a matter of fact, I am not sure I would even still be here if it weren't for the understanding and advice you gave me. And I am sure there are many more people that would say the same thing about you.

You are SO valuable to everyone here and I agree that you shouldn't listen to that inner voice telling you that you are a lunatic. It couldn't be MORE WRONG. I think you should keep on keeping on and not change a thing. Your posts are valuable and do make us think, and that is a good thing. You are one of the most intelligent people I know. Your statement about hope is proof of that. If we don't have hope then we really are in trouble and again, your statement couldn't be more true.

Dena

No. I'm not a lunatic. It was more a way to describe my ranting and raving. I never found that very useful. It's just not me. Thanks for letting me know I've helped you because that's what really matters to me.

I think your blogging has worked perfectly. You are learning and coping from writing out your feelings and then re-experiencing them as you re-read them. That is heavy work, and it looks like you are accomplishing a lot in your forward thinking.

My blog is called "Still sorting Life out" because that is what I use it for. I use my blog as a reflection, not a list of everything that is happening but a slice of that. It is partlyp ersonal and partly philosophical. I am sure there are people who read it and say: "what is this woman on about?" but that is okay.

Jamie, I see a lot of wit and wisdom in your blog. I am sure there are a lot of people who echo what you have said with a heart-felt "me too!".

Keep on blogging, change if you must but make it your own story.

Sue.

Without hope there is no future to look forward to. Expectations are what others want for us, hope is what keeps us going. Keep hoping!