jamie profound & true -you described me

thanks for your gift of being able to put into word what we need sometimes

Susan from Alberta Canada

Jamie, I sure hope there are exceptions to this and if so I am one!! Reason, I was told I could/would never come out of this stroke!! I think what they meant was I will have deficits of the stroke for a real long time!! So far that seems true but in the longer run I have come back from near death, I think, to being much alive and recovered enough to do most anything I want to do!!!!

Once I got up and out of that blasted WC my mindset changed to I can!!! I went right away to get my drivers license and from there I started working at Walmart for three years trying to recover some of the salary my wife lost by having to quit her job to care for me doing my WC days and mostly helpless!!!

However I understand what you mean for some of us in how we think and fool ourselves time after time! So much we stop believing in what we are capable of doing!!!

I can only guess, by my history with Bruce, by his reactions to things and by the few times he can find words and describe; what he is dealing with.

Yesterday was major. He said "I would like to talk with you. I want you to think about working in the morning until 4pm and then being home." It took me almost an hour to get him to he wanted Halloween. Our town had put off due to the Hurricane until tonight. I had rescheduled last week to accomodate being home for Halloween, but it was cancelled here in our town and I could not reschedule for this week. I also can not ask a caregiver to open the door to strangers and apparently Bruce heard this conversation and was thinking about it.

Now Jaime he did not consider the caregiver scheduling or the Nor'easter due in. All of this gives me such insight into his recovery. I did run this by him briefly, but it is too much to handle at this point.

But what he is thinking about, considering, worrying about is important to me, as a caregiver. I need his input to try to figure out where to go from here. He does not say "never" but he well may think it. I leave all communication open because there is so little of it. Debbie

No Fred, I don't think there are many exceptions, if any. Well, except maybe Mary Poppins but she is practically perfect in every way!

I don't think there is one survivor nor one caregiver who at some point, even if it was early in their post stroke life, who hasn't had a moment like I'm talking about.

It is important to let those people know that we have all had those thoughts, maybe some of us still do, as well as those who can say that it gets better.

Jamie :

you nailed it, I was that person for nearly first few years of my stroke recovery, I felt worthless, useless. till I figured I am not my thoughts & I am more than that. Though I love my this new awakening which happened thanks to stroke. So I am not mad at this stroke experience in my life. I am proud of person I have become today because of all my experiences in life.

love your thoughtful blogs, it reaffirms my beliefs.

Asha

I think it is normal to see the deficit from who we used to be and the one that is there after stroke, and think that is what the caregiver sees too. I can honestly say, that I don't see Bob as a deficit in anyway. I see my guy that I choose to spend my time with, however that happens to turn out. I don't even see his wheelchair when I look at him, I just see him