Sandy :

I am so glad he didn't hurt himself & both of you learnt few lessons along the way, don't keep things lying on the floor since we survivors tend to get antangled in them lol.

Asha

Ray did a lot of dangerous things in the beginning, but that's how he learned how to be more careful. Just part of the process, although three hours is a long time to lay there. But your husband didn't seem upset, more embarrassed than anything, which is good. The in home people keep trying to push the "I've fallen and I can't get up" device on us and I've resisted, but it's not a bad idea. Ray can call me directly on the phone, but you never know what mischief they can get into when you're not right there.

well, if he ever went into the kitchen, I'd never have left anything on the floor. But the truth is, he never had, didn't need to, and in fact never wheeled himself anywhere! It is kinda a tight squeeze for him to get in there, because of the way the kitchen was built, so since we have a dining room, we never bothered to get him in there.

Sounds like you are gonna have to put a chain on the chair so he can only go so far when you are not home! LOL Just kidding! I am so glad he wasn't hurt! Mike has done some crazy things like that before too and he learned his lesson from them and thankfully no broken bones for him either! Hope you guys have a Merry Christmas!

i think as this is the silly season things happen. I'm glad there were no adverse effects. He probably was mighty embarrassed to be caught lying there with you away...they all promise to be good while you're gone but there was evidence to the contrary here, mostly cookie crumbs!.

Keeping an eye on the time while you are away is a good idea. I know a lot of people use their phone for time but an old fashioned watch is good as you can take a discreet look at it from time to time and when time is up cheerfully say goodbye and hurry back home.

Sue.

Sandy,

I am glad to hear that you Mom and Bob are OK. I am sorry to hear that your Mom is not very nice to you.

I always worry when I leave William at home by himself. I have started wearing a watch when i am gone.

I am so glad that Bob did not hurt himself.

Do take care of yourself.

Ruth

I will be very careful about trusting someone else's time again! I guess I got out of the habit of wearing a watch when my close-up vision went! I think I did pull out and check my phone when I realized it'd been 6:30 for way too long!

Sandy: after I caught my breath and re-read that Bob was OK, then I got to thinking. And really good for him - and don't you dare tell him I said this.

This is so positive in so many ways. He was aware of his precious pet wanting to get out. Considered the challenges it would take to do that and then gave it a shot. I don't put a lot of stock in considering the challenges, because so much of it I personally think is just reaction. Well, I'll just go out and let the cat out. And I know that is about as deep as it truly gets.

Now your work begins because change is in the air. You must work with him in every room. He has to understand what is safe, where his balance and support is. How he can function and do what he wants to do from those safe points: grip bars, counters, heavy tables. I don't want Bruce transferring to the toilet and back to the WC and Bruce knows this, but we work every day doing it safely. He has been caught at least three times doing it on his own. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Also getting into and out of bed. WC is to be locked and in position each and every time. Bruce can't get shoes on himself even tho they are always in the WC. But we practice transfer in sox - one motion only.

None of this is truly safe and you and I will probably never be happy with it. But it will happen and we can only teach and pray. If Bruce truly wants to get out of bed himself, I would insist he sleep in shoes. Many here do it. And while it would be uncomfortable and hot, if he really wants to do it himself, I have to honor that and make sure he is safe.

I am so thankful Bob is OK, no injury and you were able to get him up. I have felt that fear and angst. I don't want to go there, but I have accepted that as Bruce recovers, it will be there.

Please don't anguish on this. Don't admonish yourself. Review the situation logically and make whatever changes you feel need to be made. Give Bob a kiss for me tonight. Don't tell him why, just be so proud of him and let your heart soar in that recovery continues. Debbie

Debbie, The button is on the left, and so is his good arm. So he had to lean forward enough to clear his shoulder, to get his arm around to be able to hit the wall where the switch was. One problem is that it is not really a full size step. It is as high as a step, down to the garage floor, but it is just a ledge, like a couple of inches, like is around most outside doors. So when he would have stood up to start with, he could have fell right on thru. Then of course, reaching with the only good arm, and no way to brace himself with the other.

Yes, sir, I did realize when he began to think more, that the dangerous part of this was starting!

I kinda doubt any of those antics will ever be repeated anytime soon if you are home or not!!

Reminds me when the stroke happened, I was home alone and on the floor for hours before the wife came home from a dental appt. and thank God she wasn't at work it would have been three more hours before she got home, the doctors said I didn't have that much time left in my life!!

Tonight during dinner I was thinking about this post. Because Ray thinks he's the king of the world; he was the oldest when his father died, he was in his teens then. His mother immediately deferred to him, when he had to come home from Vietnam to take care of her and his two younger siblings. Just to set the scene.

So everything he asks me to do, pull up his pants, brush his hair, and so on, to him this is natural that I would accept doing it. He can sort of do it himself sometimes; but what made me think today is now when I try to do something with one hand it strikes me how hard it really is. Like putting vegetables in the plastic bag at the grocery store while having your other hand occupied with the cart, with your open purse in the seat,trying to protect it when alone.

So tonight I was thinking, there is one thing he doesn't ever ask me to help, and that is letting the cats in from the screened-in porch in the back, it's up to them whenever they ask. they are extremely spoiled. If anyone of the the three appear at the door, he scoots over in his wheelchair, opens the latch, and lets them in without comment to me. It might be bad that otherwise he's so selfish, but I feel like it's more good, that he's actually thinking of someone else besides himself, so I learned long ago to let him do it himself, even though I'm watching closely, secretly. Animals can be great motivators towards recovery.

Colleen: so true. I watch Bruce with Kira. She is just his light. Kira is very vocal for a cat - part I think because the Vet thinks she was taken from her Mom too soon and part is the thyroid condition.

With my first cat, Ulysses (Bruce called him Jules) Bruce would play the guitar and the cat would howl. It was hysterical. They even had their own song "The downtown Smouser Blues." Of course Bruce no long plays now, but he does sing with Kira.

When we lost Jules, I swore no more pets. We did have a water garden, but I lost all the fish while going back and forth to the hospital. I said then, I won't do that to another living thing. But I caved when both Bruce's roommates visited and asked me to consider a pet for him. Hence, our Kira. And she is a perfect pet for us. And yes, I too let Bruce go with it as far as Kira. He will feed her, let her in and out. All safely from a WC. It is not easy but again he is focussing on something other than himself. Debbie