Asha,

Your thinking is in part like my first wife and her thoughts after watching soap operas. She confused real life with the life the actors and actresses portrayed in the shows then tell me I'm doing the same thing. To her if I'm not at home I'm at some woman's house or when the Army sent me some place I asked to go out of town so after that I could never, never watch another soap opera in life.

Watch out you may be on the wrong train with the AHA moments, just saying!!!! But you are a super smart woman and can think on your own not by another person's actions!!

Some women can get highly upset if/when they miss one episode of a show!!

Asha, you make sense to me. I too can think how much bettter someone else's life is and miss the point that mine is the way it should be. You cannot live in someone else's projected reality, after all their actual life may be very different. I once envied the life of a woman friend who had wonderful clothes and found out later she was a beaten wife! No wonder she wore long sleeved dresses and jackets!

I think you are doing well. Fill your life with wisdom and continue to let us in on the nuggets of wisdom you have discovered for us.

Sue.

Sue :

that's exctly what I was thinking when I came up with that conclusion. I am learning my mistakes & sharing along the way with you guys. I know biggest pet peeve of mine is hubby does not show his love & affection the way they show couple in love in movie & ofcourse he is man of few words. where my expectations are different so I am learning I am looking at things wrong way. I know now only person I can change is myself.

Asha

Asha I could have written this. I, too, compare us, & our relationship to others. I don't compare material things often - I have everything I need & want materially - I'm a just have never had to have it all & the newest & best even if my couch is 30+ years old - I still like it & wouldn't spend big money to impress someone. I would rather have the security of my little house paid for & be basically debt free but I envy couples that seem really close - work together & are ;like friends I just want & need to feel like I matter especially now when I worked &drove I spent lots of time of time with girlfriends & could talk about this stuff. my husband would never initiate a conversation. or bother changing things to make them better like eating healthier c omitting to exercise - too much effort -- we'll get by - his dad 100%.& as you say when we saw a counsellor talking about trust issues about trust issues - she said something very simple & profound: to be trusted Words & actions must match ( words are just words) such as "Ilove you" I need to feel it by actions.

Yes he is a good guy - taking care of me . I would like to feel the us" part of our life is important. we are supposed to be a step above to each other than the acquaintances we know.

Thanks for another important topic - be interesting to see where it goes

Susan from Alberta Canada

I prefer to think what is "real" for me may not be "real" for someone else and they may be disillusioned anyway!! Leah

I grew up with a miserable childhood and there was this perfect family and the girl my age was such a wonderful person. I loved their lives and who they were as persons and a family unit. I felt very sad about mine, and wondered if I'd be a better person too, if life hadn't given me such a hard road. Then one day, her father and 2 brothers were all killed in a terrible accident, leaving just her & her mother. It was then that I learned that 'ever heart hath it's own ache'. What happens today is not what will always be. I no longer look at any one and wish I had a life like theirs, because I don't know what their life will be tomorrow. Whatever my life is, someone else may wish it were their own, because it seems better than theirs right now. There were people in horror that my husband had a stroke, but have since lost their husbands. It's all changing, everyday... our lives, their lives. We make the most of the life we have, because we don't know what they are dealing with, or will have to deal with in the future, things we would not want to have to face.

Sandy :

you are so right, thank you for sharing your wisdom. I feel life is great since we can all grow up & learn from our & others mistakes.

Asha