Maybe because I've fought with this for so much of my life or because post stroke I had so much trouble figuring it out and what I learned might help other survivors, I'm "stuck" on this topic. Maybe ( maybe?) I need to rework it myself lately. But I want to illustrate what I've been trying to say.

I had a friend who tried to get me to see but all I could see was what I could "do" when asked who I was. I bet that's something most of us would do. I never could grasp what she was asking me and so, I kept spinning my wheels and getting deeper in despair. Finally, while looking through my health records for something else that I found this and a light went on. It didn't change my view immediately but it gave me enough light to start finding my way out. Please don't think I'm saying that this is some miracle that will give you your self esteem back, it's not but with a lot of thought it helped me get mine back on track.If you're willing to put in the time and effort, it might help you too.

Jamie, who are you? In the past, I would have told you that I was a caterer, or had been a federal police officer, or that though not professional, I landscaped very well, was a musician, an amateur writer, etc. None of who I was but rather what I did. If you look at those things you might see glimpses of "who" I am; I like order, I like beauty and harmony, I like peaceful things but it doesn't really paint the picture like I'll show you next. PLEASE keep in mind I'm showing this as an illustrative tool and not for anyone to tell me who you see or who I am to you. I appreciate so deeply the kindness but the sad truth is while it would temporarily warm my heart, I couldn't fully believe it anyway.

This is an online example of a real life test that was done on me. I don't have the real one scanned and I'd rather not use the actual one anyway. A girl's gotta have some secrets!

 

INFJs are insightful, creative, compassionate, and dedicated. INFJs have a unique ability to understand the emotions of those around them, and enjoy using this emotional sensitivity to create warm and supportive environments for growth. INFJs excel at recognizing the possibilities for personal development in others, and often have a plan for how others can achieve their goals.

Deeply intuitive, INFJs process ideas and information internally, always working to improve their understanding of people and relationships. They often have a talent for recognizing patterns and hidden meanings in the people and world around them, and often have learned to trust their insights. INFJs typically only share their innermost thoughts with those they trust, and may appear reserved or mysterious to others.

INFJs have strong personal values and typically have a vision for how to bring out the best in their selves, those they care about, and often humanity itself. They are excited about the future and possibilities, and enjoy using their organizational skills and imagination to create plans to achieve their grand visions. Once they have fully considered a situation, INFJs often act decisively, and are committed to accomplishing a task or fulfilling their responsibilities. Typically, INFJs lead with a quiet persuasion, inspiring others to follow them by their example and with their faith in their vision. At times, however, an INFJ can become pushy or controlling in their drive to guide others along the path they have chosen.

Loyal friends, INFJs value authentic relationships, often sensing insincerity and duplicity. INFJs take time to appreciate others, offering positive feedback and making sure everyone’s needs have been considered. Although INFJs are often more focused on the needs of others, and may neglect their own, they do not hesitate to speak up if they feel their personal values are being disregarded.

 

 

 

INFJ Type Dynamics

 

The core of the INFJ personality type is Introverted Intuition. This dominant function guides the way they make sense of things and explore information in their own minds. Using Intoverted Intuition, the INFJ contemplates connections and creates meaning. The reflect on their interpretation of patterns and possibilities to develop insight and understanding.

The auxiliary function for INFJs is Extraverted Feeling. This mental function supports their dominant Introverted Intuition to help them evaluate information and options in the world around them. When using Extraverted Feeling, they work to align the external world with their values. They focus on the needs of other people to support them in realizing their potential.

The tertiary Thinking function is less developed for most INFJs, especially early in life. When this function is not well developed, INFJs may have trouble using objective logic in decision-making.

The inferior function for INFJs, or that function which is least likely to be conscious and well developed, is Extraverted Sensing. When this function is not developed, they may favor imagination and idealism to a fault, and neglect the realities of the world around them.

That is the basis for who I am. However life went on and my experiences effected some of those qualities. For instance, While I am intuitive and usually can see the hidden good in people because of my past I'm incredibly untrusting. If I see something that spooks me, I stand back and watch, hoping I find that I misjudged. So as nice as that description looks, there's more to me and less of me than it says! There is where the work comes in, digging the real you out of the puzzle of your entire life and being honest enough with yourself to do it. Once I did I found who I was and that person was pretty okay. Not perfect, but definitely someone I could live with and then I went to work finding ways to express that person through the bars it felt like stroke put me in.

There are personality quizzes online and if anyone is interested or thinks one would help them, I'll find one and post it for you.