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Bob Was Bad Again



Bob fell last night and as stroke people do when hurt or sick, became disoriented and confused and was unable to respond well.

I have worked just a tiny bit with him on taking steps with no cane at all, and walking toward me as I held out my hands incase he stumbled. They are like Frankenstein steps. Well, guess who KNOWS not to do that alone, and got back in his room and decided he would? So when I hear him call for help, I run in there and one of the things I notice is his office chair is on one side of the room and he is on the floor on the other. Also the top of his head is scratched up from grazing the desk as he went down. After much struggle to communicate, he confessed that he had already made it 2 times and got away with it, before falling on the 3rd time. I thought if I take him to the hospital now, just because he can't talk well and answer questions, they will run every test in the world on him and move him around hurting him for a million different x-rays. So, since he wasn't in horrible pain, I didn't. I couldn't get him up and called a friend to help. I got him in bed, and in 2 hours, he was over the trama and back to more himself, which is still hard to communicate with, because of his aphasia. Before he had pointed at everything as hurting, but now, just the top of his leg in front, where it meets the body. He also had trouble bearing weight on it. I recognized this as symptoms that a broken hip may present. Also has quite an ugly bruise and swelling on his upper hip that he landed on, toward the back. So, today I took him in for an x-ray.


A broken hip can permanently change the life of a healthy person, but for him, it could have been the end of his being at home. I spent the night in terror that it might be the last night he slept in his own bed, and fearing the loss of even our 'new normal' that we have now. I am so thankful to report that it is not fractured, and they said if it continues to be a problen, he should see an orthopedic doc.... whew... so tired....


He is still having trouble putting any weight on that side.


When I was registering him at the hospital, the girl said, Happy Valentines day, and I sure didn't feel like it was. But once I got the results, I felt perhaps I got a happy one after all :)


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We live in fear of falls, don't we? Or I do anyway. I'm so glad the x-ray was okay. I do recognize the terror that goes with not knowing what the future may be from "here". I'm sure he'll be sore for a while with a direct hit to the hip. Perhaps this experience will burn safety into his brain. I hope so. Well, you've had it checked out now so I hope you both sleep better tonight and you can celebrate Valentine's Day any darn day you choose! ~~Donna

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For us stroke survivors and I am sure for you caregivers it is indeed a fine line between doing too much and doing too little. Risk/reward management is a difficult issue. Does he use a cane or walker always? If not see that he does. I did for some time.

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He uses a cane, and I spot him with a gait belt. He never walks alone. However, when he decides to do something he is not supposed to do, and I'm in the other room, I can't stop that. Even caregivers have to go to the bathroom, etc. In his heart, he KNOWS that I push him to do all that he can safely do. I don't baby him, nor restrict him to keep him from progressing. I am his coach, and biggest cheer leader. My goal is to get him as much back as he can get, and continually move forward. But he had a bright idea that he could push himself to do things he shouldn't be doing alone.


He now knows the difference between pushing yourself to run an extra mile, what's the worst that can happen? You only run 1.5 miles. ~ vs ~ pushing yourself to have balance you have not conquered yet = falling. When he can walk, consistently, without me having to prevent a fall, THEN he can walk on his own. As long as I'm saving him from falls, he can't walk alone. He is very upset with himself for his bad decision now.


For now, he is stuck with being able to stand on one leg and me pivot him from the bed to the wheel chair - like when he first came home. I hope this stage doesn't last long. If it does, back for more detail showing test, like MRI/cat scan.

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Sandy: was holding my breath through the entire blog. I am sorry he is hurt, so thankful it is not a break and that Bob is home and did not require an overnight stay - or worse.


And that is the balance we try to maintain every day. We want to help them progress, introduce new things, but then they get "wild" LOL and think OK, so I can do that.


But Sandy, you are stressing safety every day and Bob knows that. Just needs some reinforcing - like you, wish he would ask first - LOL.


So it will take a bit, but Bob has the reminder of what happens. Good weekend. Glad you are breathing easier and the outcome was not worse. Go easy, Debbie

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I am going to have to remember to tell him not to do 'whatever' every single time, so he doesn't think the rule is now a faded issue. He is very remorseful, but with frontal lobe, I just don't know if they ever really get it REALLY, or it just kinda goes like 'sure, it happened last time, but NOW I am sure it will be ok, without getting clearance. I think I'll call Bob's frontal lobe lack of executive decision making more like 'delusions of grandeur'!

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