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Overcoming Attitudes In An Imperfect World!



Do you ever just sit and think to yourself?? Do you wonder why you have so many pains, hard times, and things go wrong while other people don't seem to have any pains or hard times and they seem to be the perfect person?? Well, I'm almost sure that by now as a survivor or care giver you have noticed that the world is not perfect. You don't have to live long to figure that out, but something within us as human beings still want to experience perfection in our lives.


We want the perfect family celebration, the perfect marriage, the perfect friends, the perfect job, the perfect neighborhood, the perfect salary, the perfect vacation and the perfect religion. Maybe we want what we think would be perfect. I have even rolled a perfect game in bowling, that's a 300 game, 12 strikes in a row. But the truth is perfection is a completely unrealistic expectation. It simply doesn't exist on earth how we want to think it should and it was with Jesus Christ in His days.


As long as we live we will deal with imperfection. We can be miserable about that or we can be gracious toward ourselves, others, and our circumstances and respond with our faiths, which ever they are, and flexibility. We must remain flexible to every situation in our lives. Yet we will say our health was perfect so how did we encounter a stroke??


When anyone can get us to focus on the imperfections in our spouse, our marriage will be filled with frustration and disappointment instead of peace and joy. When we continue to focus on our stroke our lives will fill with things we feel can't be done by us.We tend to think we are now not in a perfect physical condition but still able to get things done ourselves.


Expect good things to happen in our lives but be realistic and realize that we all have to deal with difficult things and remember there are no perfect human beings on this earth no matter how you see and view them and what they may have accomplished. Our attitudes will make the difference between whether we live with continual frustrations and disappointments or whether we can accept the imperfections and continue to enjoy our lives in spite of them. We can't be perfect human beings in our world these days and times. When we try we are setting ourselves up for failures!!


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I think you missed your calling Fred, you should have been a minister or maybe a counselor of some sort. I love your words of wisdom and encouragement. You know what they say "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". I do look at others and think "boy, they sure have a perfect life". Of course, a lot of time we don't know what they have endured themselves or what is really going on. At least here on StrokeNet we see and here about others like ourselves and our spouses, and then do not feel so alone.



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Fred: Bruce and I were there - truly. His childhood was horrid, he overcame it, went on to get his education, home. Mine much easier, but then the divorce and set out on the street. Bruce picked me up, I went on the get my Nursing license and then so many years of budgetting, savings. Getting Brittany into adulthood. And finally, some time for Bruce and I. We were exploring, house renovations, some travel, looking for retirement property. Then stroke. And all bets are off.


I do think, not so much now, but in the early days, how much we lost. But you are absolutely right. There comes a time when you just love what you have, being together. There are days when I am working that I must miss him so much. And it is not about doing things, or what we used to do together that we can no longer do. It is truly about the connection. My best friend. And that still exists and that is what I focus on.


It would be so easy to fall back and lament. But we are stronger in what we conquer! Or as my sister says "I am my Mother's daughter, I am afraid of nothing!" And that is so true. Love, Debbie

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Fred :


such a great blog, I am realizing now after my stroke, even when life was perfect prestroke I was still not happy since I was focusing on minor imperfection in my spouse & my child, post stroke found my perfection in everything including myself, kido & hubby, so life is good again, I learnt valuable lesson in my attitude adjustment after stroke, so that's why I find my stroke experience also perfect now lol how weird is that



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I have a bookmark with the wise words of an Australian saint: Mary McKillop.


"Never expect perfection and bear quietly with the defects that from time to time come under your notice."


That was from her days when she ran an orphanage and school for street kids and was dealing with a lot of trouble, politically and from her religious betters so I'm guessing she was doing a lot of that herself.



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Fred, yes you should be a minster, that is your true calling! People who look like everything is perfect, its not. Look how rich people, have problems with their kids, or with they marriage. Before my stroke, I was always rushing around, busy and worrying about things that were not that imporant in the scheme of life. Now, I spend time with my husband, my grandkids, have a better relationship with my daughter, dont swear the small stuff. Money is tight, but life is better Thank you Lord. Now I know what is imporant.



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