I think you missed your calling Fred, you should have been a minister or maybe a counselor of some sort. I love your words of wisdom and encouragement. You know what they say "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". I do look at others and think "boy, they sure have a perfect life". Of course, a lot of time we don't know what they have endured themselves or what is really going on. At least here on StrokeNet we see and here about others like ourselves and our spouses, and then do not feel so alone.

Julie

Fred: Bruce and I were there - truly. His childhood was horrid, he overcame it, went on to get his education, home. Mine much easier, but then the divorce and set out on the street. Bruce picked me up, I went on the get my Nursing license and then so many years of budgetting, savings. Getting Brittany into adulthood. And finally, some time for Bruce and I. We were exploring, house renovations, some travel, looking for retirement property. Then stroke. And all bets are off.

I do think, not so much now, but in the early days, how much we lost. But you are absolutely right. There comes a time when you just love what you have, being together. There are days when I am working that I must miss him so much. And it is not about doing things, or what we used to do together that we can no longer do. It is truly about the connection. My best friend. And that still exists and that is what I focus on.

It would be so easy to fall back and lament. But we are stronger in what we conquer! Or as my sister says "I am my Mother's daughter, I am afraid of nothing!" And that is so true. Love, Debbie

Fred :

such a great blog, I am realizing now after my stroke, even when life was perfect prestroke I was still not happy since I was focusing on minor imperfection in my spouse & my child, post stroke found my perfection in everything including myself, kido & hubby, so life is good again, I learnt valuable lesson in my attitude adjustment after stroke, so that's why I find my stroke experience also perfect now lol how weird is that

Asha

I have a bookmark with the wise words of an Australian saint: Mary McKillop.

"Never expect perfection and bear quietly with the defects that from time to time come under your notice."

That was from her days when she ran an orphanage and school for street kids and was dealing with a lot of trouble, politically and from her religious betters so I'm guessing she was doing a lot of that herself.

Sue.

Fred, yes you should be a minster, that is your true calling! People who look like everything is perfect, its not. Look how rich people, have problems with their kids, or with they marriage. Before my stroke, I was always rushing around, busy and worrying about things that were not that imporant in the scheme of life. Now, I spend time with my husband, my grandkids, have a better relationship with my daughter, dont swear the small stuff. Money is tight, but life is better Thank you Lord. Now I know what is imporant.

Yvonne