Bruce's 4th year Stroke Anniversary
This is always a tough blog for all of us caregivers and stroke victims alike. We want to acknowledge our successes and recovery, just the fact that we are whole and alive, but also don't want to go back to that day.
This past week filled in fast. I don't know if it was loved ones realizing it was Bruce's stroke anniversary or just a need to get out. Winter is still upon us. The croci and lilacs refuse to be fooled, but us humans want some heat, light and relief from the snow that seems to persist twice weekly. One thing I do know, is I don't want to hear about any drought issues in Connecticut this summer - LOL.
I blogged about last Saturday being my Birthday present. Debi and Carl wanted to come for dinner. Our dear Carole is still adjusting to the death of her husband. Diagnosed one week before our wedding and passed away less than two months later - 55 years old and a teenage daughter and wife left behind. Debi is hoping she will come next visit.
Friday night was my dinner with my friends. We had to reschedule from December and Bruce's friend offered to come. I hesitated to schedule the dinner on his anniversary, but I knew he would be thrilled to have Bob here - Bruce always does best with Bob and did so want me to have my dinner.
We did spend Friday afternoon together. I was hesitant bringing up the stroke. But I asked Bruce if he knew what day it was (keep in mind, our Goddaughter-Niece's birthday is the 23rd. Liz was 21 today. But she, her sister and Mary Beth were here, for her birthday 4 years ago.) Bruce says "yes, it is March 22nd. and I had my stroke 4 years ago." OK, so the ice is broken. He said he had a mixed emotion about the day. He understood and was thankful he lived, but did not want to talk about his disabilities or the future. Then he focused on cleaning up his area for company and me getting into the shower. Today we talked some more, he said he was handicapped and found certain chores too difficult. But I stressed that he had to try and keep at. My choices may not be Bruce's, so I am concentrating on Bruce choosing a goal daily and working on it, stepping it up daily as he progresses. So far, he needs reminders to put the TV remote down and work on his chosen goal.
I am kicking around some ideas for Spring and Summer as to Bruce's recovery. Cognitively he continues to improve and maybe I should just be happy with that. There was a problem this week and where I feel he should have stepped up, he chose to wait for me. Now the upside to all this, was he was safe. Didn't try anything tricky on his own. The downside is that I don't even think problem-solving some of this stuff came into his mind. And Bruce is a clock watcher. With our routine, even with caregivers, things run pretty close to schedule. So when he sees the mail had arrived, Kira is crying for dinner, Bruce's dinner at 5pm and bedtime between 6:30 and 7pm and none of this is prompted nor is there anyone here to help, what is he thinking? He can't get the mail, but he can feed Kira and I explained that he was all she had and he understands the need for her to be fed on-time. So we will be working on those issues.
Entering year 5 and really have some plans for house clean out and Julie has got me to thinking about getting our Medicare PT-OT allowance. Diet for both Bruce and Kira needs tweaking and we continue to work along those lines with lots of help. Debbie