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Bruce's 4th year Stroke Anniversary



This is always a tough blog for all of us caregivers and stroke victims alike. We want to acknowledge our successes and recovery, just the fact that we are whole and alive, but also don't want to go back to that day.


This past week filled in fast. I don't know if it was loved ones realizing it was Bruce's stroke anniversary or just a need to get out. Winter is still upon us. The croci and lilacs refuse to be fooled, but us humans want some heat, light and relief from the snow that seems to persist twice weekly. One thing I do know, is I don't want to hear about any drought issues in Connecticut this summer - LOL.


I blogged about last Saturday being my Birthday present. Debi and Carl wanted to come for dinner. Our dear Carole is still adjusting to the death of her husband. Diagnosed one week before our wedding and passed away less than two months later - 55 years old and a teenage daughter and wife left behind. Debi is hoping she will come next visit.


Friday night was my dinner with my friends. We had to reschedule from December and Bruce's friend offered to come. I hesitated to schedule the dinner on his anniversary, but I knew he would be thrilled to have Bob here - Bruce always does best with Bob and did so want me to have my dinner.


We did spend Friday afternoon together. I was hesitant bringing up the stroke. But I asked Bruce if he knew what day it was (keep in mind, our Goddaughter-Niece's birthday is the 23rd. Liz was 21 today. But she, her sister and Mary Beth were here, for her birthday 4 years ago.) Bruce says "yes, it is March 22nd. and I had my stroke 4 years ago." OK, so the ice is broken. He said he had a mixed emotion about the day. He understood and was thankful he lived, but did not want to talk about his disabilities or the future. Then he focused on cleaning up his area for company and me getting into the shower. Today we talked some more, he said he was handicapped and found certain chores too difficult. But I stressed that he had to try and keep at. My choices may not be Bruce's, so I am concentrating on Bruce choosing a goal daily and working on it, stepping it up daily as he progresses. So far, he needs reminders to put the TV remote down and work on his chosen goal.


I am kicking around some ideas for Spring and Summer as to Bruce's recovery. Cognitively he continues to improve and maybe I should just be happy with that. There was a problem this week and where I feel he should have stepped up, he chose to wait for me. Now the upside to all this, was he was safe. Didn't try anything tricky on his own. The downside is that I don't even think problem-solving some of this stuff came into his mind. And Bruce is a clock watcher. With our routine, even with caregivers, things run pretty close to schedule. So when he sees the mail had arrived, Kira is crying for dinner, Bruce's dinner at 5pm and bedtime between 6:30 and 7pm and none of this is prompted nor is there anyone here to help, what is he thinking? He can't get the mail, but he can feed Kira and I explained that he was all she had and he understands the need for her to be fed on-time. So we will be working on those issues.


Entering year 5 and really have some plans for house clean out and Julie has got me to thinking about getting our Medicare PT-OT allowance. Diet for both Bruce and Kira needs tweaking and we continue to work along those lines with lots of help. Debbie


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Debbie, I love the way you plan for now and a little way ahead. We are alike in that. I also love that you allowed Bruce to talk about the stroke and didn't get into a blame game. He is doing well, I know there are other things you would like him to do but that may still happen.


Have good week and ENJOY the season as it changes.



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When I saw FOUR years, I thought boy, it seems like a long time since I started messaging you but we are just one year behind. Yes, Larry is a big clock watcher too. I never have to look at the clock as I have my own "talking clock" here in the house. Larry never talks about his stroke and he doesn't even mention it when seeing others. It's strange to me but maybe he is uncomfortable with the subject. He does talk about his endless therapy and Dr. appts.


Debbie, we have SNOW here all day. So, we didn't luck out after all. Luckily the kids are back from their "spring breaks" so maybe I can get help.



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Today is Sunday. I have decided to skip church today. William was confused and very tired. This is not a good time to take him out. Congratulations on Bruce's anniversary. Time goes quickly and slowly at the same time.

Yes, I just do not know what should be our next goal.

William watches that clock so much. Time does not usually go fast enough for him.

He did tell me that he is glad to be alive. That is a good thing.


Take care...keep us updated on your plans.



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congratulation on Bruce's 4th strokeanniversary. I am glad you are realizing Bruce's deficits & working on it, instead of blame game, cause I don't think I would have been that understanding. I still blame hubby in my mind for his shortcomings instead of accepting as his nature.



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Guest hostwill


Bruce ,

Congrats on your stroke Anniversary! My 15th was last Dec 31st Never Give up!


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Hey Bruce, congratulations my man on four years of recovery. You still got a ways to go but getting there is fun knowing one day you can do what you used to do all over again.


You have a wonderful wife that will be by your side for life and that means so much to you and me because I got a wife that way too! Without her grace and spirit to see about me I would not be where I am in my recovery process.

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