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sundry trivial pursuits



I feel a bit of a fraud blogging at all as nothing much new is happening in my life right now. The weather is fine, warm, cooler at night. I have been able to get out in the garden and trimmed back some of the shrubs. It is good to do that while we still have warm days and a possibility of rain. I do enjoy being out in the garden on a sunny afternoon.


I have started on some maintenance jobs so the front insect screens got done this week and I am hoping for a locking screen door on the back of the house next week. I know the theory is:"If they want to break in they will" but I would rather make it harder not easier. I am fairly good with living on my own but the odd noise can sometimes spook me in the middle of the night. And older houses like mine do creak and groan a bit when the wind blows around the eves.


I have had two phone calls this weekend telling me older friends have just been diagnosed with dementia. One is a former school teacher who cared for her husband for many years and was only just getting out and about again. I actually phoned her to return a call from last week and I could tell right away she was confused about who I was. We have been friends and fellow caregvers for many years and she is an intelligent woman. She and her husband who died four years ago were a great support for Ray and I when he first had the major strokes so I would really like to help support her if I can.


She did the classical half sentences like: "I'm sure I'll remember what I was going to say", "When I have time to think.." without filling in what she was going to think about, or what she intended to say. A lot of people do that early in the disease. I had heard from another friend that the daughter whose Granny flat she lives in wants to move so I hope she treats her Mum with some compassion. I hate to see an ex-caregiver succumb to ill health but I know caregiving, particularly when it reaches 24/7, is a tremendous strain to our systems especially with disturbed nights and long demanding days.


The second phone call concerned a former business woman and church friend who hasn't been to church for a while so a reply from her daughter to a pastoral call I made told me she has been diagnosed with dementia now and no longer has her driving licence. One of the disadvantages of going to a church is that so many of your dear friends, ten or more years older, suddenly get ill or diagnosed with something like cancer, heart disease or dementia. I am thinking I might ask if it is possible for me to visit them as their pastoral visitor, I have the time now and it is good to spend time with old friends even if the conversation wanders a bit. At the moment I only have a couple of home communions to do once a month so I could add a couple of pastoral visits to that easily.


Apart from that it has been a dry, sunny, warm weekend and I have enjoyed it. Great to be able to sit on the verandah with a pot of tea and a good book for a while and ignore the housework. I will probably have my three grandchildren a couple of days this week with a sleepover and a couple of days next week with another sleepover as it is school vacation for two weeks and their parents will both be working. I enjoy them for a couple of days. In this weather it is easy to keep them busy, there is walking and gardening and all kinds of games to play, videos and DVDs to watch. It is all different to what they do at home so they enjoy the break.


I had my hearing checked last week and it was fine. I probably need to have some blood tests and the flu needle in the next couple of weeks. It is better safe than sorry. It seems strange to plan these things as before, particularly the last couple of years Ray was home with me we saw the doctor so often, now it is over a year since I have seen him. I have had a couple of colds last winter but mostly managed with over the counter products. When I had the spider bite and then the ant bite I sat in the local 24 hour surgery because my doctor isn't there of a weekend so didn't see my own doctor on those occassions.


Bricks were delivered last Monday to the house next door but no further work was done on it. If I was the owner I would be cross that they were not using the current dry weather to their advantage. My neighbour on the other side of the new house said a small floppy eared brown and black rabbit had been seen in the long grass on the back of the block. It does iook a little like a mini wilderness so I am not surprised a rabbit might choose it as it's new home. Wonder if that will change if the site gets busy again? Obviously this is not a common rabbit so I also wonder where it escaped from?


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Sue :


please don't feel guilty of sharing positive blog. I believe that we should write both kind of blogs so that new blog readers in our blog world get to see life does go on after all the adversity & can find their resilience too. I love the idea of your pastoral visit. It will be win win situation for every one involved. thanks for your blog, I always enjoy reading blogs.



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Sue: a nice, relatively quiet and enjoyable blog is always welcome. I too an anxious to get out into the yard and get the Spring prep going. I am anxious for warm, sunny days outside. I did put the ramp up today, but it was only 55 degrees and while sunny, Bruce just chilled quickly. But it is a start.


I am sorry about your friends but I too think pastoral visits would be lovely, if you have the time.


Enjoy the grandkids. Special times and please do try and post some pictures if you can. They are growing up fast. Good week, Debbie

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Sue i guess i consider this blog my diary of sorts... one i am willing to share with other survivors in order to help them get through their issue... and it is nice to see mundane things to as well... the reminder there is life beyond caregiving... and grieving... and your blogs are important to me ( all of us i am sure) -- exciting or not... they have helped me to understand and learn, just as i hope mine help others understand and learn... and i dont have time for therapy -- so this is my therapy -- talk things out loud---sometimes no one listens sometimes everyone is.... just like life..

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One of the things I have loved reading about in your recent blogs is the connection and time spent with your grandkids. I have missed the frequent care I gave to the two closest to us (in distance). I used to have them over quite regularly and now it is rare that I see them without their parents. I'm sure your grands are happy to see more of you.


I imagine you would be a wonderful pastoral visitor for those you mentioned. Besides your natural capacity for that sort of thing, you have learned a lot about long-term illness and how it affects people. Everybody benefits from a care-filled visit.


Enjoy the good weather while it lasts. Gardens and warm, sunny days are so refreshing. ~~Donna

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