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Pansies, visitors, and Spring



One of my favorite times is early Spring when I can get the pansies out on my deck. We went to the nursery last week and picked out the pansies but then we had bad storm predictions with hail so I delayed putting them in the pots. Yesterday Lauren's sister and brother-in-law came over to give me some time away and I came home to potted pansies! Wonderful help that made me smile. Pansies always make me smile. They don't last into the hot summer around here but I enjoy them all through Spring. Today is wonderful weather so I've had a bit of time out on my deck while Lauren watches TV. It's still too cool for him to enjoy the deck.


I went to see my therapist yesterday while Lauren was cared for by his sister. It's been many months since I've seen her but this person has been someone I've seen in times past and she knows me pretty well. I've asked her to keep watch on how I'm doing during this very stressful time of life. In my last post I mentioned how low energy I've been lately and that things seem more difficult than normal. I've been quite short-tempered over things I need to be more compassionate about. She, of course, wants me to go on something. Antidepressant, mood-booster, I'm not sure what and she's not qualified to prescribe so she wants me to go to my doctor and ask for something. And I'm supposed to call her when I've had my appointment. :) Keeping my feet to the fire. But I asked her to do just that. I am very resistant to taking something for depression. I guess I want to believe I can manage the things that trouble me in other ways. I guess not now. So stroke has resulted in me needing to take blood pressure pills and anti-depressants. I don't like it. But I have to stay healthy as possible both physically and emotionally so I guess it must be.


I have a friend from California coming for a visit this afternoon. She's staying with us for a week. She'll be attending a conference so I won't see her a lot but I am so glad to have her coming and being able to visit in person some of the time this week. I've also gotten some extra private duty so I can attend an event with her this week. She is a good friend who I don't see often. This will be a good week of sharing.


Lauren is sitting all off kilter these days. He leans way left in his wheelchair. I must remind him to shift right 8 times an hour or more. He shifts and then immediately begins drifting back left again. It's quite a bit more profound than usual. He has severe left neglect so that has to be related to it but it has increased. He has no awareness of his position. I don't know whether to be concerned or just chalk it up to the side affects of stroke. He has an appointment with his neurologist in two weeks. Probably wait till then to address it.


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What about another kind of seat cushion in his chair that slopes to the side (one side thick one side thin) you want him to be which should make him be sitting straight up?? Or you can fold a regular cushion uneven a bit and tape it together keeping it from unfolding on him. I did that kind of seating in my early days after I got home. I used to want to lean over the side to pick up stuff from the floor and paper rack by my big chair and the remote sometimes!.

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Ray had the leaning to the left too. The nursing home did two things, they used a foam sling to take the weight off his bad shoulder and also put a cushion under that arm. That helped to keep him upright as long as they kept an eye on him and readjusted the cushion when he slipped over the top of it. The main idea was to keep him from damaging the arm and shoulder more. I have seen him sideways, almost out of the chair, with his hand on the ground. That was not good at all.But the staff were always so busy.


Enjoy your time with your friend. It is great to have adult conversation for a while and a relax at the end of the day with someone who knows you and likes you.



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Donna: I am sorry about the recent change. I was wondering myself if mine wasn't depression. You can always give it a try and after maybe two months, decide if it is helping or not. She is someone you trust and value her opinion, so maybe give it a shot.


You already have some good advice about Lauren's tilting. I can only add maybe a seatbelt.


Enjoy your time with your friend. Sounds like the timing is perfect and those visits are rare. Blog when you can and let us know. Good week. Have some laughs and fun. Debbie

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Donna, I think Larry leaned also in his chair at first. Larry has left side neglect and I always have to tell him to pull his chair up on the left, pull his pants up on the left, etc. He also cannot turn his head too far to the left but he does not lean to left now.


I noticed you are from the "show me" state too. You also probably know about tornados. I have never been in one and we have been lucky here so far.


Have a good visit with your friend and best wishes on Lauren's recovery.



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you know i have wrote about me and my antidepressant before --- i tell you i have been on it - didnt think it really mattered, then went off.. not consciencley, the script ran out.. and i dint refill... slowly the depression or lack of ability to handle stress set in and then i was under the bus so to speak... got back on my setraline... and i can make it through the days... so i have had both sides of experience... in general the stuff for me is safe, cheap and makes life bearable -- those highs and lows don't hit the "extremes" peaks and valley-- more of a even keel... now, no doubt it is a big decision , but for me it sure saves a lot crying and maybe a heart attack to ... nancyl

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Donna :


As a survivor in the beginning I resisted taking anti-depressants since I thought it was natural to feel the grief over loss of my left side of the body, but after coming home from rehab & still could not stop crying & look beyond grief of mine to cater need of our small kido. I decided to take anti-depressant, and it was amazing, that black cloud lifted & I could see bright future again. Though I strongly feel along with antidepressant, this online support group & blogging helped me deal with my new normal in better way. Slowly I weaned myself off antidepressant pills. Today I feel I much better equipped with dealing life's ups & downs.



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