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So tired.



Things have been a bit rugged around here lately and I feel so exhausted. I seem to need a nap every day which is very unusual for me. I can't decide if it's the new med for depression or if depression itself is to blame. I actually do not feel depressed. I feel exhausted and weary. I was a lot more irritable with Lauren, which is why I went on the antidepressant to begin with. That part has really been helped by the medication. I talked to my doctor about the tiredness and she said it isn't a common reaction to this particular med but it could be that. She recommended I break the pill in two and see if a half dose would still help but ease the sleepiness. I haven't tried that yet but will need to, I think.


Last month I had a week-long visit from a friend who lives in CA. I don't see her face-to-face very often. In spite of the fact that she was quite busy with a conference she was attending, we managed to get some quality visiting in and it did make things brighter that week. It is so good to have conversations about things other than stroke and the difficulties of managing them. We had those conversations as well but much of our time was about other things we have in common. A brief taste of the life I used to have.


We've had some house problems lately that caused a slight emergency. Water heater started streaming water through a rusted out spot so needed immediate replacement. Discovered water in the basement completely unrelated to that but very new. We had boxes down there that got the bottoms soaked so I needed to go through all that and discard, purge, and reorganize. Mold was already taking hold. I had to put Lauren back in respite care for a bit so I could concentrate on getting things cleaned out. With some valuable help from family I got a lot done in a few days time and a number of things out of the house for good. What a blessing!


Unfortunately, that respite time back in the nursing home has taken a serious toll on Lauren's strength. They pretty much let him stay in bed as much as he wanted so he spent many more hours lying down than he does here at home. They help him with everything instead of making him do for himself as much as he can. He came back to me completely debilitated. He has previously bounced back from that fairly soon after our routines get back in place but not so this time. He is weak and "foggy" and has lost a lot of ground. Over a week home and he's not better at all. I really don't know what is going on. He just seems out of it. Complains of back pain a lot but says nothing happened there at the nursing home to cause it. His rehab doctor has ordered more PT so we'll see if that helps get him back on his feet. If not, I think we are seeing another decline setting in. I'm not sure we'll get it back. I'm concerned but feel so helpless and hopeless about it all right now. Tired. I'm tired. ~~Donna


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Donna: I am so sorry. You have had such a long stretch lately. I am glad the medication is helping with the depression, but you already know any medication can have side effects. In your case, that might be it for you. May not be common, but if it is listed to that medication, someone had it. I hate to see you have to start over with a new medication, so maybe it is time to try 1/2 dose.


The depression is improved, but you can't continue with the fatigue and deal with every day life and Lauren who is more debilitated. There are many days when I feel just exhausted but like you, just get through it. But it sounds to me like this is just too much.


Because I am talking to you, I know you had a complete physical and all was within normal limits before you started the medication. Look to your nutrition - are you eating and hydrating? I am sure with all the house issues even with help, you worked many overlong days, even with Lauren in respite. Plus just the stress - Lauren is not right and house issues, on top of every day stuff. Plus do try to get some fresh air every day, even if you just sit on the steps with a cup of coffee for a few minutes.


Do have Lauren checked for a UTI - you can probably tell just by your experience with his normal condition. I don't remember if he has a foley, but may be time for a foley change if so (back pain).


Big hug - best I can do and of course, thoughts and prayers. Please do let me know how you are doing. Debbie

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Good advice from Debbie. Now from me, simple things, like get enough time out in the sun, expose some skin, get some vitaimin D naturally. Take Lauren out in the sun too, it will energise him and reconnect him to the natural world. Early mornings and late afternoons so you can see and hear birds and whatever can be heard above the more human landscape noises, traffic etc.


Get some serious planning in, plan some work, plan some breaks, plan some FUN!!!


I know what it is like for the long haul and I know for some people that is all there is of life. I experienced some of the group members of our dementia group dying before their loved ones so that was a wake-up call for me. This life is all we have so we have to make the most of it.


I know it is hard to be a caregiver and live a fulfilling life but you need to break it down into steps. A picnic in the yard is the first step, a picnic in the park is the next step, a picnic by water (lake, river, sea) is the next step. Then a couple of hours out, half a day out, a full day out. It is easier to be home but it is better to experience life as you found with your girlfriend's visit.


As soon as you can, get out of the house for a while. While you are in the house you are looking at all the work that needs to be done, when you are out in the sun you look at the sky, the trees, the flowers. As we say here "every day above the grass is a good day".


(((hugs))) from Sue.

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Speaking of house troubles I had a completely new roof put on a two story home and it cost me my deductible of 2050.00 while the insurance paid 5800.00 for their share. I had no idea it was that high of a deductible so I'm changing to USAA immediately!


My wife had title put down in bathrooms and entry ways but the commode sprung a leak upstairs and it came through the ceiling downstairs that will cost me 735.00 sooner or later. That's less than my deductible so I pay!


Isn't life great????

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