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What a difference a day makes



I ran Bruce ragged this weekend. Friday noon I got home at lunch, exhausted. After lunch and nap, Bruce refused his shower, he did his Estims, snack and mail, set the table for dinner. He channel surfed most of the afternoon and I was too exhausted to argue.


I planned out Saturday and Sunday, something to do both days even tho the weather was iffy. Our ramp sits right under a Maple tree that is flowering. For several weeks, you can sweep that ramp every hour and still not have it cleared, plus we had rain. Erma is at odds with "her floors" as to what we track in - LOL. But I remind Bruce that he has to have a heads up for me going up and down, and he does great. Getting him away from the TV was worth it.


Funny thing, in thinking over all the wonderful responses to my post "What Next?" I always consider Bruce. I will say to him "what is on your agenda today?" His response is always the routine (his comfort zone). I will ask what he is willing to do for himself. His standard reply is always reading and then he asks "what is on your list?" or will say "Follow you." So you see my dilemma. I list what has to be done and always ask if he wants to come with me.


This morning when I got up, I knew he was out of sorts. He has been getting up just a tad earlier: 4:45am. But last night he was not asleep when I got into bed. Still channel surfing. This is rare in that he gets his Zanaflex at night. I always give it 20 minutes to kick, so he is generally out by the time I get into bed. I asked him this morning what was up and he said he did not feel well. It is hard for Bruce to explain, but he did ask for Tylenol - something he never does. He insisted I go to work, but I did wait for Erma to get here and asked her to have him lay down later. Bruce refused of course, but when I got home for my break (my double shift day) Bruce had lunch and then took a two hour nap. He was incontinent for Pema, so I know something is brewing.


I know he is muscle sore. His February Botox is wearing off. He moved independently in the WC a lot this weekend. Plus his blood levels are adjusting still to the new medications. By the way, his Vitamin D levels are finally back to normal. I know if I cave and cater to him, he will take advantage. So I kept to my schedule, knowing he had the best care here if not me. I did relent after nap when he asked not to go back into the AFO, but rather shoes and the snack he requested was more calories than I prefer and Bruce knows that.


As to the job, that may be a moot point - LOL. Major middle administration change today. This group loved me. The new group due to take over, not so much -LOL. My decision may be made for me. Debbie


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sometimes we reach a age or a point in life where new management just isent worth the hassle. you can struggle through , but one of the things the new guys are gonna do - i can virtually guarantee - is take away the privliges you enjoy. and while you dont take advantage of them - the other nurses are aware of them and are jealous. the old admin. knew your value, knew you had put in your time, knew your work ethic, knew your "worth". The new admin. will view you and your situation as unfair to others and decide that in the spirit of fairness - they will change it all up on you.... we can roll with the punches, try to duke it out with the new admin,or leave .... change can be good - but in the medical field i have seen very little good change ever come about with a positive outcome for the patients.. and you my dear are way to ethical. you all ready know whats going to happen with the new change over - the question is-- will your ethics allow you to continue employment?? Can you tell I have been there done that ?? --- Good luck and sometimes the God makes the tough decisions easier... Respect - go easy - Grace---Nancyl

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Change can be hard and can especially throw a huge wrench in our plans. In those times I try to remember what my great grand mother used to tell me. "It will work out in the end and if it hasn't worked out, it isn't the end." I learned when nothing seems to work and seems like it won't that it is best to reassess the situation and do "the next right thing". Sometimes a journey's end can't be seen at the starting line and the next right step is all you can rely on.



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