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When life throws you curveballs


nursebrandy2010

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blog-0773147001372534019.jpgOn July 9th 2010, I met the love of my life in person. You know, I have been through so much in life. Most of the time it had to do with the male "relationship"in my life, whether it be my father or my relationships boyfriend/husband. I've been abused in every way imaginable in my past relationships. But what I have always done is pick myself back up and move on. I had this crazy idea the week before to post an ad on craigslist to meet new people.Just getting out of a divorce after almost 10 long years of marriage, I was lonely and my guard was up high. It wasn't really something I thought was going to bring me "everlasting happiness" ..and then there he was...unconventional from the type of guy that I would usually be attracted to but different was what I craved. SO there he sat and as I walked in to the CROWDED restaraunt...he stood up when he saw me,...we exchanged pics when we had spoken throughout the previous week. His smile lit up the room..I couldn't believe that thus beautiful man had wanted a chance with ME:) He hugged me and we talked at that restaurant for four hours.Granted some of it was because I had to ask him to repeat himself over and over because his accent(He's originally from Dominican Republic)....but that accent got easier to understand and I grew to love it and love him unlike any other. He is the most kind, honest man I have ever known. He taught me to trust again. Selflessness..he taught me that too. My daughters and myself moved in with him.. I kept waiting for him to ask me to marry. and he never did...but I was happy and he loved me..I felt so blessed. On August 29,2012 our world turned upside down. I keep going back to that morning when things just didn't seem right with him. I had texted him asking if he was ok and told him I appreciated all he did with my daughters. He said"I'm ok amor, just tired" But when I got the call at work that noone had shown up to get the girls from school. I panicked..I drove home..apparently very fast...I cut 35 min off my hr and a half drive .. he was there ..on the floor vomit everywhere..non responsive. After freaking out a second (throwing my sunglasses on the floor) I did the thing I was taught in nursing school..airways..check (not great but he was breathing..you could hear the fluid bubbling with each breath) and circulation..he had a pulse but didnt respond to any stimuli.I called 911, and they were there within 5 minutes but it seemed like forever. I got a neighbor to help me turn him on his side because I was unable to on my own. After hours of attempts and asking me if he did drugs ..he was in ICU with a ventriculostomy and intubated. They said he had a brainstem hemorrhage and clot with swelling and had aspirated his vomit so he had pneumonia. his chances of living were less than7%. I refused to believe that this was happening. We called his family which were all out of state. I called mymom andstep dad and they spent it with me until 2am. I spent the rest of the night crying and I kept hearing a voice in my head.."Oh ye of little faith". He had several infections and problems with his vitals. He remained unresponsive. He was in ICU a total of a month and about a week. Today:) He has had to learn to set up ..........to move his right side..to speak to eat. He has developed a movement disorder which has set his swallowing and speech back a lot but we still have faith..Faith can and has moved mountains for our little family and will continue to do so! He is alert oriented and you can still see his personality ..positive, hopeful, hardworking shining through. His first day home was january 16 2013 and I'll be honest...it has been trying for us all! I am greatful for God allowing him to continue our lives together and healing him so far but pray for more so he can do the things he wants out of life..that and i miss his voice and conversation. It's weird to feel lonely when your love is right here. we reamain steadfast and reminded that God heals those who believe! We had a tiny ceremony and got married (pic) June 22 2013. We plan on our dream wedding in Miami in Sept. Don't ever give up. Don't ever lose faith. God is great! Today has been hard I got frustrated because he's wanted to eat less and less:(.. and here I am. Seriously thinking of writing a book..starting a non profit foundation in his name to help people recover from home.. you know since I don't have a lot to do these days..haha<3

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Your life sounds a bit like mine over many years and in my case being in the military too. But you know life is like that and it's all in the way we handle it. You call it curve balls I call it just unfortunate adjustments I made that didn't pan out how I wished it would.

 

I'm proud to say I'm with wife number four and final for me and I just try not to think about what happened before now and that works for me.

 

Well, I wish you all the best in life together and I pray for his healing and more recovery with you by his side. God knows best for both of you and your family.

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Brandi - good for you !!!! I also miss my husband who is right here with me.... i hang on to those "glimpses" of him .. every now and then he laughs in a certain way, smiles or touches me - even says a old phrase.. random of course but still it is him.... what i really miss my name - with no prompting.. it has happened 3 times in 2 yrs.. that he has said my name.... say my name, say my name , say my name... hang in there - you are finding that balance and have made decisions ... good for you...

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Congratulations! The crisis is over, and while it will be slow going, you are on the right road. He is so lucky to have you. And you are right; once things settle down, you have to think of how you will make this time of your life worthwhile by passing something on to those that haven't even started this journey yet.

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Hi Brandy. I know you feel being alone with the person you love right there. Shortly after my husband came home after his stroke I told him I missed him. His response was so simple...I'm right here...

 

Hang in there Brandy. You love each other and he is still there with you. Hugs

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Bless you both that you found each other your picture is beautful everyone looks so happy and loved and that is what's inportant.

You are also showing your girls that when the going get tough we ladies pull up our big girl pants and work to make things better.

Come join us in Caregivers chats on Tuesday nights at 8pm EST

Sally

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