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nursebrandy2010

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blog-0079035001374073655.jpgThe picture posted is from our first vacation ever! It was wonderful..but as usual I worried about if I was good enough, pretty enough for him. I don't think that ever was a concern for him. just something I worried about with everyone I ever dated. But he was...IS wonderful.There's no other explanantion for it. I guess thats' why I am so frustrated that he even had to have this stroke:( And now the movement disorder:( which is making him not eat..get depressed and self conscious..not wanting to go in public... WHY in the world would this happen to this strong...GOOD man? We went to a neuro optometrist today bc he cannot read things due to his vision and they said they cant try glasses rt now bc his head is shaking so much. GRR! I just wanted to run really fast(not away just you know for the stress release) I am so frustrated bc it isn't like this man (my husband) lived an unhealthy life...he ate salads with almost every meal..was always helping others..always following through on promises...the kindest person I know and he has had rto struggle over and over again..I cried(underneath my sunglasses...) on the way home bc..SERIOUSLY..how much does he have to suffer? I want him to have a good life and not stress and there's so much out of my hands I want to scream WHY?WHY HIM? Then the humble christian woman in me is setting here now thinks..this too shall pass ...and God heals those who have faith in him..I will remain strong in my faith and let it shine onto him.One day tehre will be seasons of blessings because we are steadfast and believe in healing hands of GOD.He has always came through for everything else. Patience is not my strong suit..:) Have a good day everyone.

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Brandy

I struggled with similar question why me for longest time till I realized every one has some kind of struggle in their life & God will provide me strength & right kind of people in our life to get through this lower phase of our life. just have faith in God & remember something good is going to come out of this experience, even though you can't see it right now. Just take one day at a time, happiness is state of mind & choice & does not depend on external circumstances. I am sure this experience in life is going to bring you two closer.

 

Asha

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Asha is right, most people have some kind of struggle although with some it is not so obvious. Take what you have and run with it, the results may surprise you!

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Good for you two, I love to hear great stories and see smiling faces. Keep the faith in God. Without Him I would be out in the woods still!

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When Bob had his stroke, I felt the exact same way. He was an athlete he ran & biked, zipped lines, climb bridges, hiked. I was a vegetarian that made only the most nutritious foods for him - when he ate at home. I was so shocked that he had a stroke, and such a massive one, that I often thought I would have been more likely to believe it if someone told me that :

 

1. He cut his own head off mowing the lawn

 

2. Wild wolves broke into the INSIDE running track and killed him

 

3. A fish hit him in the head while he was driving and caused a fatal accident

 

His stroke was Feb 29, 2013 and only recently have I realized that strokes happen to anyone, even babies. It's like you are more likely to have a horrible accident if you are drunk driving, but non-drinkers indeed do have accidents, and fatal ones everyday. So you can lessen your risks, but there is no eliminating them. If he were heavier, and had worse health problems already, I probably would not have been able to manage him. But his healthy weight and desire to exercise made it all do-able for me.

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Brandy: and that is the gift that stroke gives - patience. Something we were talking about last night in chat.

 

There is no "Why." There may be in another life, but for here and now, it is something we have been handed that has to be dealt with.

 

I see the confusion and fear in Bruce's face. My big, strong self-confident man. He says only 25% of his brain has "light" anymore.

 

But you also know it is long road to acceptance. Down days are OK. I find I need private venting, a good cleansing cry. Gets the frustrations out. Like you, I try to keep my distress to a minimum (behind sunglasses, LOL) when I am with Bruce. In the early days he did see me crumble and it only caused more angst and fear.

 

Tomorrow you begin again. Thoughts and prayers. Debbie

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Brandy, keep on trucking! keep your eye on the prize, let God do the rest. We all have some thing to bear, I could not beleive when the doctor told me I haded a "stroke", but I never said why me, because why not me? see my father haded two strokes, and the doctors said out of five kids, one of us was going to suffer the same action. That was me, I have handle it better then maybe my sisters and brothers. Keep on praying God hears,trust me he does. My prayers are with you and your family.

Yvonne

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DITTO ----- and we all gotta laugh at Sandy's analogy--- truth !! same her.... but Brandy - you enjoy your vacation and keep that slow trek forward... sometimes we gotta drag them with , but keep on trucking as the english lady said...

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