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Home again



Lauren spent about 4-1/2 weeks in the nursing home getting skilled care. He came home on July 8. Medicare wouldn't continue to pay for his stay because he wasn't making enough progress. It was touch and go there for a while about whether I could bring him home at all. He required two to three people to transfer and he was not doing well in PT either. He always does so much better with me that I was unsure that what I was seeing at the nursing home would carry over to home. One day I asked if I could try to transfer him in and out of the car with the PT there. That seemed like a deal-breaker for me. If he was to be home, I needed to be able to get him to doctors and tests. She reluctantly agreed although I could tell she thought I was out of my mind. She brought out an extra therapist with her when we tried it. He did perfect! No problem at all. They just stood there in shock. Then we came into his room and I transferred him to the stool. Again, just like normal. They weren't even taking him into the bathroom. Just let him make a mess and they'll clean it up in the bed. Then I transferred him to bed by myself. All just fine. This is not a statement about how bad or incompetent they were. It showed us all how much better he does with me than with anyone else. He trusts me and is used to the cues I give. We have a routine he is comfortable with. That clinched it for me. I knew I could safely bring him home--at least for a while.


I am still taking it a day at a time. I don't honestly know how long I will be able to carry on but, for today, I can and I will. Since we got home he has already choked several times (big time scary for me). He took himself into the bedroom while I was napping on the couch and tried to get himself into bed, ending up on the floor. I can't budge him when he is down like that so I had to call 911 to get lift assistance. Thankfully, they are so kind about such things. We have PT coming in which helps keep him from getting weaker. I still feel very close to an edge but I figure every day I give him at home is one less day he has to endure away from his home. I'm going to give him every day I can. ~~Donna


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Donna, good for you in standing up to the therapists and showing them it is not all the standard in our spouses recovery. I know he must have wanted to come home as I remember how anxious Larry was to leave the SNF. We do what we can but it is so very hard. I sometimes feel I can't do the caregiving anymore but then when I look at Larry's alternative, I could never subject it to him as long as I am able.


Good to have the PT coming in.

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Donna, I'm so glad that this has worked out for you both! Let me say, that I have to watch Bob like a hawk when he eats or drinks, for one reason. He has a tendency to take a mouthful of drink or food, and then sit back. I keep telling him he has to sit forward and not lean back while eating, and I finally just stuffed a thick solid pillow behind him so he could NOT sit back! That is really his only reason to choke, but can do it constantly if I don't make sure he stays forward. I don't know if this is helpful or not, but maybe it will ehlp someone.

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Donna: honey we take one day at a time and are so thankful for any time we are given. You had the test and were confident, at least for now. For that, you are remarkable! No giving up if there is some hope. I truly believe you will know when it is time.


I recently cut my work hours. Bruce is back in Outpatient therapy and has a ton of home work. Not doing anything for a year has truly set him back. But while everything is "independent" he won't do it alone, he won't do it with caregivers. But Donna the improvement in just four weeks, with me being home more it is worth it. It took two years for Bruce to get here, cognitively, but recovery is a slow go.


We respond and step up when we can. As you with Lauren. All he wants is to be in his own home and kudos to you for recognizing that and your willingness to try again.


Go easy honey, See to your health. And please hugs and kisses tonight all around. Debbie

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It's true...they do do much better with us. Charlie had to be in a nursing home due to a broken hip and he was dehydrating. They claimed he wouldn't drink or eat. I would hold a cup out to him and he would gulp it all down he was so thirsty. Pureed food is yukky; I had fed him soft food which he ate readily. They did not clean him or the room up...I had to do it. Our loved ones need and trust us.

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Donna: So good for you. I had my stroke 5 years ago and my wife has gone through some of what you have had to go through. It took a long time for me to become some what independent. I feel that you will be blessed for your care and help you have given him.

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