neighbor from hell
OK, JEAN, I'M BOGGING AS PROMISED. I DON'T FEEL LIKE WRITING ANY STROKE RELATED MATERIAL, SO I THOUGHT MAYBE SOME OF YOU HAVE IDIOTS LIVING NEAR YOU.
WE MOVED IN THIS HOUSE SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS AGO, MAINLY BECAUSE IT WAS IN THE WOODS AND NEAR LAKE MICHIGAN. WE NOTICED OUR NEIGHBOR LIKED TO CUT DOWN TREES AND CLEAR SURROUNDING AREAS THAT DIDN'T BELONG TO HIM. SO AT A TAX SALE, I BOUGHT THE ADJACENT TREED LOTS TO PRESERVE THE NATURAL BEAUTY. SO BEGAN LIFE WITH MY REDNECK NEIGHBOR.
HE ILLEGALLY BUILT AN ENCLOSED GAZEBO BEHIND MY HOUSE. IN THIS TOWN, JUST ABOUT ANYTHING GOES IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT PEOPLE. LOUD MUSIC, TV, AND GENERAL NOISE BECAME AN EVERYDAY OCCURRENCE WHEN I WENT TO WORK. CALLING THE POLICE ( 10 TIMES IN ONE WEEK LAST YEAR ALONE) PROVED FUTILE UNTIL ONE OFFICER CAME OVER AND READ THEM THE RIOT ACT. THEIR REASON FOR DOING THIS: THEY WERE HER FIRST AND THEY COULD DO ANYTHING THEY WANT. AFTER THE OFFICER LEFT HIS BULLDOG WIFE STOOD AT THE PROPERTY LINE AND CALLED MY WIFE A F-------BITCH WHORE. GEE, A SIDE OF MY WIFE I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT. BUT I DID RECORD THE WHOLE INCIDENT BY ACCIDENT. EVERY SO OFTEN, I CAN PLAY IT BACK TO THEM.NOW FOR THE BEST PART. THEY THINK MY HAVING A STROKE IS A FUNNY HAPPENING.
HE HAS SENT ME LETTERS WHICH REMAIN UNOPENED. I HAVE REFUSED ALL CERTIFIED MAIL FROM THEM. NOW FOR THE BEST PART. THERE IS A GOD. THEY ARE NEATNESS FREAKS AND TUESDAY NIGHT, A VERY LARGE TREE FELL FROM MY LOT ACROSS PART OF HIS FRONT YARD. OF COURSE I GOT A LETTER. AND TODAY, I HAD THE SWEETEST PHONE MESSAGE ON MY ANSWERING MACHINE. "DID I KNOW A TREE FELL AND WHAT WAS I PLANNING TO DO ABOUT IT." WE'VE IGNORED THEM COMPLETELY AND PLAN TO IGNORE THEIR REQUESTS FOR REMOVAL OF THE TREE.
I'M HOPING HE SUES ME SO I CAN COUNTER SUE. MY HOUSE IS FOR SALE, MAINLY BECAUSE WE WANT TO MOVE TO A WARMER CLIMATE. I'M A NICE QUIET PERSON AND CONSIDERATE OF MY FELLOW MAN, UNLESS MY CAGE GETS RATTLED. I'M STARTING TO SAVE USED KITTY LITTER FOR MY GRAND FINALLY WHEN I DO LEAVE. I WANT HIM TO HAVE SOMETHING TO REMEMBER US BY.GEE, IT FEELS GOOD TO WRITE ABOUT THIS.
TOMORROW IS MY WIFE'S BIRTHDAY, SO I PROMISED TO TAKE HER AWAY FOR THE DAY. ANYWHERE SHE WANTS TO GO. SO IT'S EITHER CHICAGO, OR ONE OF THE RESORT AREAS IN SOUTHWEST MICHIGAN, DEPENDING ON THE WEATHER. THIS LONG ENOUGH.
MARTY
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