at first when he started annoying me ( back in 1995) i have thought on and off again about divorce. a lot more recently since my stroke. i'm no stranger to divorce. 8 years the first time( to an abusive sports freak), less than a year the second time ( to a REAL freak) and 10 years on the 20th of this month to, well, just a plain out irritating and annoying person!!!!

i'm sure many people wonder if all of this divorce is MY fault. i have really pondered that question and the answer is a flat NO. it seems like every man i date wants to get married. i am fun, somewhat attractive, have a good job, and keep to myself. i never had children because i have never met a man i thought was smart enough or good enough to "blend with my gene pool"!!!! my feelings on that matter have NOT changed. anyway, it's too late now, i am 42 years old.

about this DIVORCE thing. even though i never blinked en eye when i left the last two, this time it feels different. also, he has a 14 year old child who lives with us and i happen to love her dearly. also, in my older years, i think i have become more tolerable and don't want to be alone when i am REALLY old. right now though, i have fantasies that i live totally alone in complete peace and quiet. no one is pulling me in every direction WANTING something all of the time, MOSTLY, they want my time. ...."let's go here or there, or yak yak yak yak when i'm trying to watch law and order, leaving messages to ...."call me..., etc"( in a whiny voice, mainly mom and sisters. . i have five cats who i love with all of my heart and lately i've even been yelling at them!!!