I drove my first roadtrip and didnt get in an accident! I was so relived Im still alive! My arm was sore from gripping the steering wheel so tight trying to steer straight going 80 mph. As some of you know I don't have my left field vision so merging is pretty scary and I could not really turn all the way around to see what was coming since I was driving so fast so I had to use my mirrors but luckily I only had to merge back onto the interstate 2 or 3 times. One time I had to wait for a big 18 wheeler to pass so I could get behind him then get over again so the big truck wouldnt be blocking the signs I needed to see. It was also scary when I would be in the far left lane next to the median because I felt like if I went to far to the left I would crash into the wall in the median but if I drifted to the right I would side swipe the car next to me. The big 18 wheelers really made me feel cramped but I made it safely so I guess it was all in my head I drove about 370 miles. I went to Raleigh to see a friend then to Fayetteville to pick up my cousin then back to Charlotte. I didnt get to sleep until 3am so I was super tired at work yesterday

My other cousin came up and we went out to dinner lastnight. It felt so good to have my family here and not be here by myself. Since I'd done so much driving and sightseeing I was scared I might have a nightmare or seizure Friday night especially since I did not take my medicine until about 2am but I actually have not had a seizure in 3 weeks since I seen the neurologist. I did have a nightmare that I was having a seizure last week but its like I only panicked for a little bit before I realized I was dreaming so it was not too bad. I am kind of tempted to take a nap and see if I can trigger a seizure but Im off work for the next 3 days so I will just see what happens. (They used to only happen mornings after days off or nights I'd been in bed all day and/or took a nap.

It would be great if the seizures were gone for good but it seems like they happen right when I stop worrying about them and I really want it to happen when I get my EEG so I wish I knew something I could do to trigger it so the neurologist wont try to keep me in the hospital all week trying to make me have a seizure.

Driving was a great distraction and getting back home safely made me feel so glad. I still get depressed at work and hate myself when I make a mistake, people stare, etc and I cried this morning after my family left but to end this on a good note, like I said it felt good to not wallow in pity confusion and sadness on my day off and spend time with my bestfriend