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Winter's due, at least here in the Northern Hemisphere



I started a post about Projects for Bruce for the upcoming winter season. He is doing great staying alone and we are considering extending the time a bit end of October. But unless someone calls during the morning, Bruce reports that after he finishes his chores, he watches TV. For all of you who may not know - I do a welfare check about an hour after I leave the house and Bruce has his chores done when I get back. Which means 3 hours of TV.


I have also reached acceptance. There is not much promise that Bruce will go down four steps to his office and start writing again. And the master bedroom up eight stairs probably won't happen. So it is time.


We have talked so often of this. I accept that I can not take all of Bruce's stuff out of this house. So I have adjusted and am having him clean out drawers. This past week - last vacation day, we did a fun shop. We now have four big plastic containers.; One is for all the photos. Bruce and I. One is for paperwork: recitals, weddings, graduations. Mary Beth advised that while not all of it is interesting to her, it may be to someone else. Again this is acceptance. Bruce has no family, some very close friends. These things need to be tossed after all heirs have their go. One is for my stuff: how fun will it be for Britt, Melissa and Liz to look at my Girl Scout uniform? There is already a box of family stuff from my Mom and Dad. Mary is not ready for it right now, but will be. And then the last, Bruce's stuff. This container I will leave handy. Bruce does so love going through all this.


All the knick knacks come down and go into the containers. Bruce was looking at stuff during the shop. But I had to explain that all the dust collectors were going and we were not adding any new. The kids will love going through this stuff - most of it is from them and they will remember giving it to us and why.


I'll have Carl bring down a few more boxes of books and then there are the bags of tools. So Mr. Bruce has his hands full for the winter. This way Bruce decides what is going and what is a save. Bruce is understanding/accepting how life has changed. The big, important stuff is not at issue right now. Tend to the little stuff.


We have a walk in closet that is now mostly Bruce's dress clothes. For the wedding, we tried on everything. Anything that did not fit, went. So there is plenty of storage room. In the Spring maybe Bruce will be ready to tackle the big stuff. But for now, this seems a good compromise.


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I don't know that 3 hours of tv is a bad thing..... I mean I never worried about watching 3 hours of TV when neither of us were stroke people. A movie takes 2.5 hours... a football game can last till it's over, if you know what I mean! I don't know, I just don't want to take something away from Bob that he had BEFORE the stroke, but of course, want him to do his necessary things to stay stronger... which he needs me to que him on if the tv is off or on - no difference. He will not initiate on his own, maybe once every 2 months he does.


Anyway, yeah, I agree, we have to accept things to make our lives keep going. Not accepting is just one more stumbling block that makes us miserable. Glad you got a plan all worked out that you are both happy with!

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Yes, cooler here and still no rain. The fall colors are nice but I still prefer the warmth of spring and summer. Not looking forward to snow and ice.


You are always thinking ahead. I will have to think of projects for Larry.



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Debbie, you are right, at some point we as survivors know what we can/ can't do alone after awhile. I'm like Bruce I can do what I can and the other things have to wait until my wife is home.


Kara will be lots of company for Bruce with all he can do alone he should be fine like I think I am!!


Maybe when he starts to use the computer and got the TV too his time alone will be complete for sure! I wish him all the best!!

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Debbie :


if you have room in the house then time to get treadmill or stationary bike for bruce. since I am up from 6 am. I watch TV too but that while doing my treadmill & bike so its my therapy time in the morning. I feel doing those exercises has kept me happy & healthy.



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I only consider what is right for Bruce. And most of this is my fault. From day one home, I made all the decisions, directed his day. That was my mistake and when Bruce finally asked several months ago to stay home alone, I knew he was at a better place in recovery. And I see the problem-solving, more layers of thinking since I listened to him and adjusted.


3 hours of incessant channel surfing is not acceptable for a man who never watched TV. Was either writing, working on his curriculum for his classes, taking classes, furthering his education. This is not acceptable. He does it because he does not know - has not been allowed - to do anything else. He still has trouble with large literary works. At one point, we were subscribed to 20 different magazines - because he was comfortable with short articles. I insisted that he take two magazines away with us. He flipped through them at the Casino - too many other things to "grab" him. But spent hours reading them cover to cover when we got home.


Asha: I am considering the wheels that sit on the floor. I don't want Bruce transferring too much alone, just yet. Get through the BR issues through the fall and then, re-eval. Right now, after nap, he does a complete 1/2 hour work out - given to him from the last PT session - alone, without prompt. That in itself is amazing.


Fred: I do hope you are feeling better. Many here are concerned. Thank you so much for checking in.

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Debbie, I understand about the TV. Before my stroke, I was always reading, writing letters to my family aboard, doing word searches. After the stroke, I watched much more TV, because I could not hold a pen to write, and reading would leave me so mad,I read the same word over and over could not remember what I had read. As for word search, please, it just make me mad at what I had lost. Debbie the TV was my world to the world outside since I was home by myself, and could not go outside, it was my company.

Now I had improve, I use the compture more, read more, go for my walks . it take time as you know this.


You said Bruce, read for hours cover to cover, when he got home. That is great, I still have trouble foucusing, it just not happening, it taking me so long to reply LOL. and put what I want to say sorry.


You are a great caregiver, and strokes,is a major bump in our life's journey. So stop blaming yourself



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