teal's Blog

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ambulance and er.......




i still don't know how they got me out of my car or into the ambulance, i was just worried that my friend would forget to lock the door or take my purse,glasses and keys.... the ride was a blur, too, cause i wasn't wearing said glasses that i've worn since i was 2.... the er itself was a bit blurry, too, i mostly remember wondering why they were asking me such silly questions like "whats todays date" ever notice that they always ask that one standing next to a calendar ? "is this sharp or dull ?" how can you answer that when they should've asked "can you feel this at all ?" and the one i think convinced them i was hopeless... "who's the president ?" "depends on if you trust the last election"... i remember hearing a loud gasp when someone said my bp was almost 300 over something, found out later that they told my friend id most likely not make it through the night;but to be honest, that never occurred to me, i just kept wondering when id get my hand back again... i remember trying hard not to freak when i heard someone say "let's take her clothes off" and then again when they attached the foley (i've also got ptsd from childhood abuse) .. i heard them talking after the ct scan, that there was a cerebral hemorrhage in my thalamus with leakage into the basal ganglia - not that i had a clue what that meant at the time, they also did an echocardiogram and a carotid ultrasound;but both were clear - i asked the dr when my hand would come back, he probably thought i was nuts worrying about that when he expected me to be dead by morning... lol;but he did say it would be 3-4 months before we'd know how much would come back.... they sent me off to intensive care and the next couple days i was mostly out of it, although i think the phone messages my online friends left confused the nurses... somehow i don't think they were used to taking messages from people with names like lighthouse, ghostwolf, mapleleaf, cynderela, etc.... don't remember seeing a dr at all during those first three days, and no one even discussed transferring me to another hospital till an hour before the ambulance showed to do so, oh well, although it worried my friend, it turned out that transferring to the county hospital and away from the fancy private one was one of the best things that could've happened to me;but more about the transfer next time.....



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