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Oh No.. I don't want to tell Bob this...


SandyCaregiver

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Oh no, Bob had this cousin who called and wanted to come see him. I told Bob and he was so excited, he went on for days about how his cousin was going to come see him. I kept trying to contact him on facebook to set a date, I don't know if he never bothered to check facebook or just felt too bad to follow thru because of his own health problems. Anyway, just found out he died today, and I am sooooo dreading telling Bob tomorrow. I don't even know if I will be able to get him to the next city to the funeral/visitation. We didn't make his aunts funeral last year, as it was icy out and Bob was still socially afraid to be out and have someone try to talk to him when he couldn't respond right. His uncle has never forgiven us. :(

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Ray and i missed a lot of funerals. He couldn't go if it was wet, windy, if there was no bathroom on the same level etc. All you can do is see how you feel on the day and plan clothes etc to suit.

 

We had a similar thing with one of Ray's cousins who wanted to see Ray before he died but never made it and actually died before Ray did. Sad.

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sad, and yep i know the feeling...... although it went off better than i thought.. we had a very close grandfatherly type pass on us ( dan cared more for this man than possible his own dad) anyhow he passed this past summer.. first i got the "memorial or program with jims pic on it" i showed it to dan he understood ( words didnt work- he didnt understand) then i took dan to the viewing .. dan got his private goodbye .. and last we went to the funeral where we brought the gifts to the alter ( catholic) .. dan handeled it pretty good - was sad, but seemed to know the man was in his late 80's although very spy right to the END... but yes the sad act of telling your loved one another loved one has died is hard.. made 10 X hard with the language barrier... nancyl

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So sorry to hear about your loss Sandy. I don't have any suggestions to make what you have to do any easier, just know that you and Bob are in my prayers.

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Wow, that is a hard one to do. So sorry for your loss. I have gone to funerals by myself but they have not been close family members. I don't know how Larry would respond as he does not show much emotion, especially sadness. If I took Larry to a visitation, he would not be able to stand in a long line. Everything is so much more difficult now. Hope Bob will handle it well.

 

Julie

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I have been toiling with the idea if we could make it or not, and it has just occured to me that this person was a hugely known person in the community, and it would be a massive line of waiting. It's looking less likely than even before.

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Sandy: so sorry for your loss and Bob's. I can't help you either with telling Bob. Bruce has had so many say they were coming and then no follow through, it is easier for him. He just doesn't expect (believe) it.

 

I often have to go alone, like Julie. With the bathroom issues and long waiting lines, it is just not always feasible to take Bruce. For very close family, I park, leave Bruce in the car and a family member comes out and accepts Bruce's sympathies. There are so many of us, someone is always willing to do this.

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Sandy, I can certainly see why you don't want to tell Bob this news! That sounds like a

big funeral it's going to be where Bob will be lost in the crowd of kin people and guess

alike!

 

Anyway hope you make the best of the situation should you go there with Bob in tow!

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I was very relieved when Bob awoke today and after a little while, told me he didn't think it would be good for us to go! I'm glad I didn't have to make the decision, incase he began to resent me for it.

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Sandy, sorry for you and Bob's lost. I understand that it is better that Bob made the decision not to go ..

 

My prayers are with your both

 

Yvonne

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