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another light bulb moment for me


HostAsha

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in my last blog I bragged about success of our son in his academics & in comments Fred mentioned how about gifting him new car or something similar, which of-course made me uncomfortable since my views on it varies. I feel as a student its his job to do well in studies & you don't get any rewards for that. his rewards will come when he is able to support himself & his family & can buy himself all toys he will want in his life. As a parent our job is to provide him food, shelter & education. we do make sure to give him environment at home where he can achieve his goals. his studies always comes first, & being home I make sure of that. I am also realizing that I as a mother is also doing my duty & should not expect any rewards in return. long time reader of my blogs will know that I have struggled with that for longest time, since as stay at home mom you don't get any thank yous in return. you only get whining & complaints about how mean you are when you limit their pleasure time. so valuable lesson learnt for me too we all here on earth & assigned role playing to do, so whatver role you are playing at current time, do your best & don't expect any rewards from any one. your rewards you will see when you see your kids thriving. bhagwad gita says do your duties(karma) & don't stay attached to results just be happy for doing your job good. So at the end valuable lesson learnt again.

 

Asha

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Hi Asha, i so enjoy your blogs, love that they make me go " ha well". Now with junior you say that you want him to be able to suppost him self to get all his toys. While my junior is at college, doing well, and we got him a car. We did this, because he was driving a friends car, and I did not want any thing happening to the car while he was driving and also we find that the car had no tag, and goodness know what else. For us it was the right thing to do, he now works, and does not have to depend on any one else. He can come and see us, which he does.

 

I understand about they have to learn about how you have to earn to get what you want, mine is learning. The best thing for him was going away to school, but we still help him, just don't want him to go get credit cards, or loans. My son tell us how everyone wants to give them "money", of course with high interest rate. This has been an excellant learning lesson for him and he is still learning.

 

You are correct the best reward is seeing your child grown up and doing what needs to be done.

 

Yvonne

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you are doing very well asha in not rewarding with presents good behavior such as his learning. your attitude and appreciation of his effort I think will be much more valuable to him than any gift which tends to send the wrong message. and your reading from the gita is a lesson we all can learn from.

 

best wishes,

 

david

 

 

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