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I understand now



well after going through my SSID payments and now having to pay for Medicare.. I'm beginning to understand how hard it is. I say that not as being Prudish but having a security with someone else paying the bills. I'm much more appreciative of what I've read over the years here. I'm better understanding the implications of 'fixed income' I never really dealt with it before. Now I sound like a spoiled brat but I'm going to be 40 this year and have NEVER paid a rent, mortgage or anything on my own, I know so now the term 'princess' has a bitter ring to it. Despite the setbacks.. I'm looking forward to my new adventure. Scared? Of course. I am not above living in some areas but I refuse to bring my son to a place when has shooting all the time. Most of the 'apartments' that are in my price range, are also being used as half way houses from the Federal and State prisons. That is what the south side of Millville is really. I was looking to stay near there for my son but it's looking like I may have to move a bit further away. That bothers me for my ex husband will have primary custody only because the school that my son is in now, he's doing very well in. It would be selfish if I pulled him out without a stable place. I've never been with out my son to my knowledge and that's only since the stroke so from going from daily to ever other weekend is killing me. I'm afraid i'm gong to loss my memory of him (it happens fast). I do get a phone call daily after school and before bedtime to wish me good night. I know my husband,still can't say ex all the time, is playing fair and is looking after my and our sons best. He's not asking for anything, We're still good friends. That's all for now..Oh yeah I passed my written driving test. Now the rehab starts in Feb. for sure!!


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Mike and I use to have conversations about people on "fixed" incomes and he couldn't grasp the concept of why they called it that. Now he understands completely!

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Oh Kelli: Driving again. How excited are you? That is a gift honey, a sign that all of this is going to work out.


I am sure your ex-husband would be happy to help you with setting up a budget, at least a listing of what you need to pay and what is coming in. Reach out honey, he only wants the best for his son's Mom.


As far as the living quarters - don't panic. You will know where it is right! That I know. Congratulations! Toasting a glass - Debbie

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YOU are a smart lady and will be just fine... change is always scary , but you have a lot of support within your family --- dont be afraid to accept it ....... i would rather help someone ( not necessarily enable them) but help before all the pieces hit the floor.... and this is illness/ physical limitations/ health issues - most cant be "fixed or anyones fault " - so helping or recieving help is not enabling - it is plain and simple survival and "family".... do what you go to do to have a life for you and your son...

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Great that you passed your written driving test! Yes proud of you. It is a new chapter for you , but you are going to make it. You are correct to let your son stay in his school, I know it is hard, been there, done that. Like Nancy said, ask family, you be surprise. I leaned on mine and my sister step up, she said that she was just waiting for me to ask! Plus your Ex, sounds a good person, sit him down and just tell him what is going on, so a little help will be accepted, and thanks for.


Know that your strokenet family is here for you


You go girl!



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Welcome to the real world, Kelli! You will do fine...learning is good for your brain. Congrats on passing your driving test. Apply for Medicaid...there is a chance they will pay your Medicare premiums. You will be a good example for your son. :)

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Don't confuse never having had to do it on your own with being a "princess". "Princesses" think they're entitled and expect everything, I seriously doubt that describes you!

I think you're just scared because you never had to do it on your own and don't have the confidence. Even before my stroke when I got divorced I was terrified to have to be on my own. I went from living home, to getting married, then I got divorced with a 3 and 5 year old. I thought I'll never get out of the house on time to get them to the sitter and get to work on time, I'm too much of a screw up for this, this was a bad idea. My alternative was to go back to an abusive husband so I looked at is as I had no options ~ that made the difference.

You would be amazed at what you can do when you have to. I knew if I didn't swim I'd sink because there was no net to catch me. I gained a lot of confidence, wished I had done it when I was younger because if i had I might had the independence to not have ended up in the bad marriage to begin with.

I have confidence in you Kell, and am here for you.

Don't worry you'll be okay honey.




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