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just when things were going good



My week got a little better. I cannot remember what I did on Tuesday and Wednesday right now but yesterday was pretty good. I woke up and went to the gym for yoga. We worked on hips and abs so it was a workout. I did the nustep machine for 20 minutes before yoga. Tried to get my most out of my last day. Before I left, I asked my instructor if he knew anyone that does acupuncture. Another lady heard me and told me about an acupuncturist who was trained in Korea I think. Im going to check him out. I know the effects are only temporary but I really dont want to go back to my botox doctor. After the gym I treated myself to lunch then did some shopping. It made me appreciate the perks of not having a full time job. Yesterday I started my blog grateful I'd gone a week without a seizure and just talking about my easy going day.


Well the reason I cant remember what happened Tuesday or Wednesday is because it is 4am and an hour ago I woke up from a seizure. My dad and brother were in my room and I was crying. He told me what happened. He said he heard me making noises and came to my room but I asked him why was he in my room and told him I was okay. So he shut my door but he heard more noises like moaning so he came back in. I dont remember any of that. My brother said I was talking out my head not making any sense like I was still dreaming and I kept kicking my feet. Later I remembered having the seizure in my sleep laying on my left side feeling like someone was pushing me over and I was pushing back while my left side was tingly and jerking and I was trying to scream for help.


My left arm and wrist is still very sore I guess from the muscle contractions but luckily I sleep next to the wall so instead of ending up on the floor I just woke up in the middle of the bed. My dad says he doesnt think I was having a seizure because "its like I was awake but sleep at the same time". I think I just was experiencing the psychosis the psychiatrist diagnosed me with that comes after the seizure by the time he walked in my room and I started talking to him.


Basically I am just frustrated with these seizures. I have not had a seizure in my sleep since I started he klonapin in september. I know its effectiveness is only temporary so I hope it is not wearing off. I pray every day and night and take the time throughout the day to thank God for no seizures and for keeping me safe while driving and out in public. I know I cant let this one incident ruin my good day. It just seems like every time I catch a break and try to look on the positive side, something bad happens. Since the Abilify is an antipsychotic and I was diagnosed with epileptic psychosis, I am thinking about starting it but I am going to wait until I see the epilepsy doctor at UNC next week first.


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oh honey i am so sorry to hear this, gosh i wish you the very best at your upcoming appt. hopefully - helpful information... nancyl

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I'm staying with looking at things positively for you pumpkin. Before jumping to conclusions, it may just have been a nightmare you were having and don't remember because you were in a deep sleep. Having your dad and brother come in to check may have just been enough to rouse you and wake you from it.


Best of luck when you go to the doctor next week. I'll keep you in my prayers that you get a definitive answer so you no longer are stressed and anxious.


Love ya,


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