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Another Monday, another no show by the aide



She just called, had that sort of fake "sick voice", telling me her leg hurts so bad that "it wasn't even available yesterday". After I hang up, I remember reading somewhere (here? or in one of the many books I read on the subject) that when you have in-homes calling off every Monday, there might be some kind of substance abuse problem and they could be hung over from the weekend. Not always true, but something to keep in mind. She's been with us three weeks, and has called off each Monday: first week, she came for the initial sign up on Tuesday with the nurse, they had cancelled Monday but didn't say why. Last week, she lied about being off for St Paddys Day. Today....well let's just say I was a manager over 100 employees long enough to have a feel for phony last minute telephone call offs. Anyway I don't care, was only planning to stock up on food for us and the cats, and return stuff to the library before the snowstorm tomorrow (dubbed The Nor'Easter Bomb, they must be running out of ideas!) and Ray will be thrilled to accompany me. I only wanted two days a week in the first place, guess my wish came true.


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Had to switch browsers, IE works so poorly on this site!


Anyway I don't think the lack of hours is a real issue with her, she had told me that she only works Monday Weds Friday, because she goes to PT Tuesday and Thursday on a long term basis. I just read that most in homes are only part time and most get government assistance even though they have a job, even if one that seems to be a good one.


Where I read that is a wonderful book I'm reading, The Caregivers by Nell Lake. She is a newspaper reporter and decided to follow the lives of several people she purposely met at a hospital sponsored caregivers support group. I have read every book I can find on caregiving and this is the best one yet. The chapter I read last night had some other interesting statistical facts about in-home aides: the one that stuck in my mind is that the average in-home patient will go through four different aides per year. So I have to stop waiting for Mary Poppins to appear I guess, and be grateful for whatever I get!


I also had tried to google "Monday morning caregivers" to see if there is any backup proof to my theory, but instead found an interesting website on caregivers. I'm always on the lookout! Here is one thing I noticed immediately:


"In a recent study published in the journal, Stroke, it was reported that a full 90 percent of those caring for someone who had suffered a stroke said that their caregiving enabled them to appreciate life more. Many also reported that it helped them develop a more positive attitude."


So it's not all bad news either, I often (although not always!) say the same thing myself. Glad to know it's not just me.

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Hi Colleen, seem it maybe time to let her go, so she does not have to worry about coming to work on Monday's! I enjoyed my weekend so much that I have not heard about a snowstrom comming tomorrow. I be praying that it is not to bad. I went for a walk today, after not walking for a month since Mom and dad was with me. My body is hurting,


Be careful what you wish for LOL



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I know, but no biggie to me really. No luncheon dates on my schedule yet.


Yvonne, it is a Nor Easter so it's only up here by New England. You don't have to worry.


I will let the agency deal with the situation, I'm not CD-PAP anymore so it's not really up to me. It didn't seem this woman was going to be permanent anyway. If I do get someone reliable, my first fun thing will be a long walk on the beach. My only pain hopefully is if I step on a broken shell. Right now, all I do is go browsing in the department stores and finding things to buy. Not a good thing.

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I have also read caregivers live about 9 months longer than those who are not caregivers. This is from a John Hopkins study. So, something positive.


Larry and I have Long Term Care Insurance. Larry's pays for our home helpers. I have gone throught two agencies but stayed with the one we have as we like our helper, JIm. He is dependable, never complains, and does a good job taking care of Larry. The cost is high - $22/hour but comes out of Larry's insurance. We also do not pay premiums for Larry as long as he is qualified by them to have home care. It was a lot of paperwork and the insurance company comes and gives an evaluation every 6 months. The doctor also has to send them a physician's health statement regularly.


I guess we are lucky as we had just gotten the insurance a couple of years before Larry's stroke. Some of these policies pay the family members to be the caregiver. Ours does not. I just hope we can keep Jim and not have to get a new person anytime soon. It has been very helpful when I have had doctor appointments, colonoscopy, etc. I usually only have him a couple days a week for 2-3 hours. It's good to go out with the girls for lunch not having to worry about Larry.


You are very resourceful, so maybe you can find a friend or neighbor or someone in your church to help.


Good luck. I agree that girl you have is not a good choice.



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Colleen: I don't have any experience with dealing with an agency as far as aides, but I do know the frustration of planning a day and then having to change everything. If I could get Bruce out, that was fine. But the ramp had to be clear and mostly dry.


The good thing is you have not set up a pattern or routine, based on the aide and I guess that is a positive. But I do know you were looking forward to a few hours to yourself.


Please do see to tomorrow's storm. Make sure you have your wood in (no, I mean IN - LOL). And one of your nice, hearty soups.


I do hope this gets straightened out soonest. I know there are many here who have dealt with these issues and hopefully they will chime in. Debbie

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I feel like we are at a crossroads, where an aide isn't a real goal anymore. Would have been nice to get used to it from the start, but it hasn't been like that at all. When I have them, I take advantage but don't plan ahead much. Never works out, although she was able to stay with Ray last Friday while I got my bloodwork done. Big whoop, as my niece would say. I tell the agency, I just want you in place as a backup in case something really bad happens to me. I don't have anyone I can ask to stay with Ray, not really. Not once they hear they have to help with the bathroom. Stranger or not, someone who knows us and our routines would really ease my mind. If I'm lucky, maybe any bad luck I have in the future will coincide with a good aide being in place and then it will all be worth it.


Ray is on Long Term Managed Care, and as far as I know, he has to have in-home people coming by to check up on him on a regular basis. Not so much to do with me, just a little bonus on my part. They get paid only $15 and change per hour, that much I know. The aide I paid myself in the beginning charged $20; so, as always, you get what you pay for.

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The lady I had for a few years came Monday, Wednesday and Fridays every week and was paid by the VA. She worked for a home care company. She had been there 11 years.

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Fred, our aide has been with the agency for seven years, or so she says. She knows what she's doing, that's not the problem. Everyone is just so flaky now, any excuse to goof off, that seems to be the norm nowadays.


Debbie, For tomorrow I have my famous Broccoli Rabe/Hot Sausage soup on the menu, along with a few toppings for my Josephs Flax bread: Tomatilla sauce, cucumber salad, ajvar, hummus, that kind of thing. Ray will be grazing on lasagna and burritos for the time being. Most of this out of the freezer, I am taking a break. I also have everything out to plant my vegetable and flower seeds and get them growing, all I have to do is get them in their little cups of soil and turn on the grow light. Some other chores are planned, and then we wait for the snow. Let's see if the aide shows up Weds, it's supposed to snow into the morning last I heard.

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That is the one (and only) good thing about this dragged out winter. I too am cleaning out the freezer. I didn't realize how much was up there. I am anxious to start on some new recipes.


We are only getting a dusting, but again the cold. I can't seem to get warm lately and I already told Bruce we have house projects planned. I know it is the one day warm, then a run of cold. But am just trying to take advantage of the good days and get Bruce out. Friday I want to pick up the lawn stuff so I can start and spread over the weekend.

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Supposed to be in the 50s Sat and Sun, I hate going out on the weekends around here with the tourists but not too bad right now. Maybe some yardwork too, if the sun is out Ray might just sit out and watch me for awhile. We have enough food ready to eat for the rest of the month, so I can take a vacation from the kitchen!



9PM and still looking for the snow.

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If you only wanted her 2 days, looks like that is working out. I guess the only thing I'm wondering about, is does the agency think she is working these Mondays and paying her for them? I mean, since she is the one calling you, how do they know she isn't there?

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I'm only signing for the days she's here on a weekly chart, so unless she's forging my signature....anyway she called yesterday and said she's taking the rest of the week off, her leg still hurts.


I suspected the last agency of padding their hours, especially the nurse who disappeared for two months at one point. I had SS print out a complete reconciliation during their final days; we both looked it over, no signs of anything untoward. But don't worry, I've got my eye on the whole bunch of them! If they get caught by the government there is a big price to pay.

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A friend of mine got caught out with a larger bill than he should have as the aide told her boss: "He often forgets to sign me off on the days I am there." She got the sack when she said she had been on the job and the person she signed for was in hospital.


The case of the disappearing aide is not unknown here so find someone you can report her to, must be someone on the phones at the agency. Also ask for "someone more reliable please" and see if you find someone who is a better match for you.

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Last time this happened (with the old agency) Pat left the end of January 2013 and was never replaced up to Dec 1 when we started with this new agency. Couldn't get through to the coordinator there, no how no way, and believe me I tried. Well, until I gave up, that is. She didn't answer her phone and never ever returned messages. They knew they were out with Obamacare so they didn't care. I got used to it.


I wasn't even trying at this point to get anyone after Pat changed her mind in January, but they came up with this aide out of nowhere after three and a half months with them. At this point, I'm just going with the flow, I can't remember exactly what I wanted to do with my free time anymore, anyway ;-)


Pat always told me you have to be the one that complains the most to get anything, so I know what I should be doing. Hopefully they will be there for me if I ever end up in the hospital or worse, that's my main concern. Don't think I'm ever going back to work at this point. It's been way too long now.

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