• entries
  • comments
  • views

family and other events



Well, it was good to have Trevor call back in and pack his car with things to take back to Broken Hill. He was disappointed that some of what he had planned to take back had been taken by the men from the local Men's Shed that I had allowed to take tools. Unfortunately that included some of his! But when your children say no, they do not want what is in the garage Mum then I think that is what the answer is! Silly me. We were both sad that had happened but that's life. And one of the problems with decluttering when not everything about the place belongs to you.


We have had a lot of miserable rainy days this past week but I got the laundry done and the beds ready for the next lot of visitors. I got wet twice yesterday going to church. I went three times so no wonder really as it rained most of the day. With what Christians call Holy Week starting on Sunday it is a busy week church-wise. I will be there most days this week for some service or other and do have to do my home communions too. There are hospital visits to do too if I can find the time. Some of our older, beloved members will not see winter out I fear.


Messy Church yesterday was the usual chaos. I enjoyed sitting next to kids making Easter Baskets or a pot of flowers made of crepe paper and fastened to sticks, arranged in a cup of sand, Yes, the joys of children's handicrafts. It is good to see the boys sitting with a tongue just poking out concentrating on something to give Mum with her Easter egg. Kids do still love making something personal despite the fact that this is the techno age.


I am trying to finish a crocheted rug to take to Broken Hill with me for Lucas. Yes, it is time to update rugs I gave the grandchildren five years ago. Everyone has grown and now their feet stick out the bottom of the rugs and they want Granma to make bigger, longer, more stretchy rugs. I think we are going to need them this winter as it is looking like it could be a cold one. So I'm starting with Lucas's and Naomi's is next.


I am 18 months a widow now and really starting to feel the loneliness at night. I think it is possibly because we have just gone off daylight saving and so the days are shorter and the nights longer. But I also find that by 6pm the world has quietened down and I suddenly feel the need for companionship. Of course I have friends to reach out to via the phone or the computer but that is somehow not comforting. Like another widow said to me recently: "If only someone would ask me 'do you want a cup of tea dear' like Eric did." Yes I can really relate to that although in my case it was me doing the asking. But at least it was companionship, I sometimes failed to realise that at the time.


I have not been one for going out at night since probably 2005 when Ray had his fourth stroke but do remember now how nice it was to go out with friends or maybe to eat out somewhere special. There was that freedom after all the children finally left home and we were alone, Darby and Joan. It is good to think back to those days and remember going off in the car sometimes to dinners or a friend's house. Of course Ray when he was still working was also out and about and we seemed to have so many friends. That all disappeared with the strokes and our slow withdrawal from society.


I know for a fact those days are not coming back now I am a single. I am a widow, an older, single lady, the proverbial "fifth wheel". If I do join a social group that has evening events that might help but I hate the thought of driving somewhere alone on foggy winter nights. Maybe I will just get a stack of books and read my way through winter. And of course there are those bags of wool too.


As usual life takes a good deal of sorting out.



Recommended Comments

Sue, do not envy you entering your winter season. Hopefully your autumn will shape up to be cool and beautiful. Your dance card is quite full right now and it will be good to get away later for some family time and relaxation.


I know you so enjoyed Trev's visit. One day at a time. Debbie

Link to comment

I have so little in common with others i am hardly ever thought of to get a invite…. i spend the time in the bar sitting next to dan and for the most part trying to communicate for him to others…. so i get out but i don't get out …. once in a while april my oldest will come out with me for a drink and appetizers , but in reality she is my child - not a "friend" -- yes, yes you can be both and we are.. but i never have felt even now as the kids have gotten of age - that i should be their "peer" i prefer to be their mother…. but most my peers have moved on - i never get invites, no one really calls, unless i call them first .. it is sort of embarrassing….. oh if only we teleport around we all could visit and have a drink ….. as i have said before - i never was a drinker - to much work to be done, now i clearly see how alcoholism is born of loneliness…. don't worry i got my thumb on it, but it sure has given me a view i never otherwise would have had…. nancyl

Link to comment

Sue, please that you are busy with your church. I hope that your winter is not too bad. I know what you are saying about been told that they don't want anything, then get mad when you throw away they stuff. That is my husband!


Take care



Link to comment

I think it is neat that you are involved in so many things that basically benefits and helps others. Not too many people have that type of commitment . The approaching winter months to me are just well depressing. Hopefully you have a mild winter. Our's has been way too long for me. ( Supposed to be in the 20's tonight!) And you would defiantly not be a with wheel, just start asking! I know you have to have a huge circle of friends. We have a social club here we call the Moose which is family oriented and where you can go to meet up with your friends from the week before. ( I joined because my family goes there) Just a place where everyone can catch up and talk. It's a mixture of young and old. I also am usually the one to ask my friends to go out to dinner or plan something. I think it is just pretty common that everyone kinda keeps to themselves. Maybe it is easier but not allot of fun.

Link to comment

Yvonne, yes you are right, that was Ray's way too which is why I never did anything in the garage/workshop for the twelve years he was, here. So Trev just takes after his Dad I guess.


Nancy, I am finding that having little in common with others extends into widowhood. In a way your friends no longer relate to you, your experience as a caregiver has moved you to a different head space to where they are. I always imagined that if Ray passed away they would all come back and enfold me once more into the group I had left. Sadly I was wrong about that.


Terry, I do need to join some kind of club that has those kind of opportunities to just spend time with others. I was going to look at one of the local Seniors Centres, there are actually three within a short drive away, and see if that is what I want to do to extend my world now.


And maybe I can find somewhere where there is music and dancing. Ole.

Link to comment

I know i do have to find a life - even for 10 -15 mins a day …… my own life….. this is so odd pre stroke i and dan were so independent of each other - we spent a lot of time together but it was "quality" now it is quantity … i so enjoyed my independence and he enjoyed his…. and i know the friends are gone -forever- the stroke took them along with most everything… i just need to find myself again and become who ever it is i am to become…..

Link to comment
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.