Every once in a while
Entry posted by Ethyl17
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So we were off to a day long, mostly; out of town event this week. I can't remember the last time we were away for most of the day. I don't like leaving Kira at this point, but it had to be done.
There is a lot going on here at the shack. I had hoped to be able to do a lot of this when I am home full time but things have just moved along at a pace of their own and we go with the flow.
A very dear friend passed over the weekend. She was 92 and had been failing for the past month, so it truly was a blessing. Her daughter and son-in-law had been her primary caregivers for the past two years.
Ann is like a second mother to Bruce. Her family and Bruce's family were farm workers. Their homes were on the farm and right next door to each other. When the farm went bust, Ann's son brought the property right behind the family homes and built his home there.
When Bruce's parents were divorced, his Dad went back to Vermont to work the Sparks family farm and his mother was forced to take a second job as a seamstress. Bruce was at Ann's home every single day, after school and most weekends. When I say Ann's daughter and son are Bruce's sister and brother, not biologically, but it is really true. And the three of them and us in-laws remain very close.
Before Bruce's stroke, I don't think two months would go by without us going to see the family an hour away in CT or them coming down to our house. And after the stroke, before Ann really began to fail, she called weekly and send cards all the time. So this was important.
I really didn't give Bruce a choice. But I think he was just waiting for my lead. There are times when he does consider how much work all of this Caregiving is. When he has something to focus on, some responsibility or connection with daily life, he really does best.
We missed PT last week because the truck wouldn't start and it was blocking the Honda - LOL. Another story. That damn truck will be the death of me - LOL. The services at the cemetary for Ann, an hour away, were for about 11am. I knew going to the funeral home, then the procession, services at the burial would be way too much, but I took Bruce to PT and brought a clothing change. Washed him up in the BR, toilet, change clothes and off we went. We were able to find good parking right next to the site so Bruce could hear and see the services. We went to Ann's son's home for a gathering later.
Now this is the rural CT hills. Roads and driveways are gravel and everything is on some sort of hill. We have been to Skip's house since the stroke. There is no getting Bruce into this home, front and back entries are at least a story off the driveway. But there is a wonderful patio right off the driveway, under the upper deck that we have used many times. Plus there was plenty of help to get Bruce in the WC over the gravel driveway.
I spent most of Tuesday afternoon packing for the day. I explained to Bruce everything I was bringing and why. The main issue, of course, toiletting. We can't get into the house. In the past we would just clear the patio - it was all family anyway, but for the services there were going to be many there that did not understand. And of course Bruce would want to share a beer with his friends and family.
The day was perfect. It was very humid and we were both exhausted when we finally got home. Kira must have slept most of the day - probably happy for the peace and quiet - LOL. Bruce was so thrilled he was able to go and pay his respects to the woman who has been so important in his life and a wonderful friend and mentor. To be able to spend time with his "brother and sister" who so love him, and their families. Debbie
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