this way or that?
Entry posted by swilkinson
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It has been a strange week, cold and windy but no rain, very cold nights for here. I have been busy with meetings, there seem to be so many church meetings as our minister leaves at the end of September and he is trying to tie up loose ends. I think I am one of them as he seems to want me to do this, that and the other at the moment. Even asked me if I had done my homework before one of the meetings. Homework? Me? I am 67, nor 6 or 7. Please treat me like an adult not a child. I don't think he means any harm but it is still early days for me in the transition period and I am still having days when I honestly have no get up and go, other days I might be firing on all cylinders and up for anything but that is the exception, not the rule.
I had lunch yesterday with a lady I am fond of but not friends with. She was a member of my Lions Club but "moved on". She also is a widow. We have a lot in common and I like to see her occasionally. But she is very different from me, knows what she wants, gets to it in good time, moves on from there. I am not like that. I am by personality a long distance runner not a sprinter, I am here for the long haul, I find it difficult to drop something and move on. I also need to tie up loose ends and leave things neat and tidy and then if I think the time is right to resign I do so. I am not as impulsive as I used to be when I was younger. Once I would get upset about something someone said and that was the end of my membership in that organisation. Now I know that losing friends as a consequence of an impulsive action is not something I want to do. I am older and wiser. And I value my friends more.
And so I come to the dilemma - to change or not to change? *L* said that I should drop all the organisations I belonged to in Ray's time and decide what I needed to make MY life complete. I should join mixed groups so I had some male input into my life, preferably with younger people in it as well and frankly have a good time. What??? Obviously she doesn't know me very well. I do get the point about younger people in the group, as I've said often being in a church with an older age group does seem to mean I bury a lot of my friends but apart from that age does not matter to me. So I must admit I was a bit stunned by all of her comments. I presume she did it with my best interests at heart so I will think about it and there is no hurry to make a decision. But maybe I might have to avoid her for a while in case she wants a progress report.
Today I went to a Combined Stroke Groups Morning Tea and we had great fellowship as usual with six stroke support/recovery groups present. We also had a dynamic guest speaker, a researcher into the value of wii-based therapy. I can't tell you all about it as it is still going to Clinical Trial but needless to say it sounds brilliant. They will try it firstly in local groups and then in distance based groups using the internet as a teaching tool. I loved that she said it didn't matter how long ago you stroked, you could still make progress. As far as she was concerned learning new skills was always possible.
I could see the survivors sitting up and taking notice. What we all need is hope for the future and this therapy sounds useful and accessible and relatively inexpensive. Like in restraint therapy the wii is used in the affected hand with adjustment by physiotherapists and occupational therapists working on using the correct muscle groups and providing input. The progress in movement, flexibility and balance seemed to be remarkable. I wonder how long before we hear of this being used in hospitals in the rehabilitation situation? It will be a wonderfully interesting development in a system that currently needs a shakeup here as according to the speaker's figures only 6% of the stroke survivors are offered anything like adequate rehabilitation at the present time.
I still feel a bit strange being at a meeting without Ray but most people seem to want me to continue with the group and assure me I am a valued member. I have made some good friends in the group and there are people I have known for a long time now and I value their input into my life and would miss seeing them if I left the group. Which also applies to the Dementia group I belong to on a casual basis, and also this group. I know in a way I am only here because of Ray's strokes but I like it here, I like being a chat host, I like being a part of the Blog Community. I have made friends here and no, I don't feel I have to move on. But is this holding me back and denying me True Happiness? Who knows? I choose to say no it doesn't.
So what does my future look like if I decide not to change, not to move on? I don't think I need to worry about that do I? I think if I keep a forward motion going life will gradually change anyway, as it always seems to. And hopefully the flow will go into a quiet, peaceful and healthy place and I will go with it. And happiness will find me there.
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