Today I heard three sermons, one at the Anglican Church, one at the Salvation Army and one at the closing ceremony of a women's enrichment weekend. I have just got back home so I am feeling pretty tired. No, I did not participate myself in the weekend but I was a sponsor so I took my candidate (new attendee) up on Thursday afternoon and brought her back tonight. The weekend was at a Retreat Centre but as it is two hours drive from here I decided to stop over in Cessnock on Saturday night so booked into a motel which turned out to be basic but spacious and I have enjoyed that experience.

I had a nice day today, two church services, breakfast and lunch with old friends and with the stay last night it was almost as good as being away all weekend. It is the furthest I have driven in a while so was quite pleased with myself. Thursday night was wet and windy and a bridge was out, flooded because of the surrounding hills and some fairly heavy rain, so I had to go the long way around and admit to getting a little lost (30 kms or so) on the way back home. But I got there and back without a hitch the second time so am proud of that achievement.

The new members tonight gave a small talk about how they had done, how they had felt during the weekend etc and two points really struck me. One woman said she was a quiet and reserved person and found herself amazed when she found herself skipping and twirling and singing as they circulated the grounds this morning, that is certainly an achievement for a quiet and reserved person. And there was a second woman who said she has always been a giver and at last has learned to receive from others. I was most impressed with the new revelations the newbies had discovered, both about themselves and about others. Isn't it wonderful when we have those times of refreshment and revelation?

Ray and I went to this type of renewal weekend in 1996. I knew I would enjoy the experience but doubted that Ray would as he was not someone who made or liked to see a public display of emotions but he did have a great time with his fellow retreaters and although I wouldn't like to say he was transformed I could see each time he encountered one of the men on his weekend how they felt they had a special bond. I saw one of them tonight, I doubt he recognized me but it was good that I recognized him. I thought to go over and tell him that Ray had died but in the end I didn't. It was an upbeat evening and I didn't want to introduce a more somber note.

I wonder how many of us here belong to a support group of some kind apart from Strokenet? I know there are only a handful of caregivers that regularly come to chat although many more do belong to the Blog Community and receive love and support there. I know chat is not for everyone but we do all need a support network. Some people belong to one or more support group in real time and get a lot of benefit from there. I have belonged to several and although it did not always fulfill my needs it did ease the pain to know that others were in a similar place to where I was, looking after a stroke survivor. Of course Ray also became a person with dementia and so many other illnesses and conditions and I never found support groups for all of them, just the two Dementia groups, one run by a government agency and the other situated in Mum's Nursing Home.

Today at the Salvation Army Hall I met a man from my Shirley's Corps. He went to College the year after they got to Shell Harbour and he is the Captain at Cessnock now. We recognised each other and he was full of questions about some of the people in the Shell Harbour Corps so we talked about a lot of them over morning tea and I answered his questions as much as I could. When we move on for whatever reason there is always a yearning to hear about how our old friends at that other place are doing. Shirley and some of the folk he knew are going to come up to his Corps for a visit at the end of next month, another form of support for a small struggling church.

Heaps to do here in the next few days. I can take a few days away but when I come home I look at my home with a critical gaze and wish I had a fairy godmother who could wave a magic wand and make it all it could be, instead of having to do it all myself the hard way. Of course I could take it easy for a while first but the work would still be there waiting for me. That fairy godmother visit isn't going to happen is it? But I did have a lovely day today so can't really complain..

I know I find support, from friends and family and others in the groups I have belonged to to be so beneficial to me, it certainly allowed me to look after Ray for longer and now helps me as a widow.Especially as the chat girls are more than likely when I have done a negative blog or post to remind me that they wanted me to look after myself. And great advice on Strokenet, both the forums and in the Blog Community was always freely given and it is one of the things that kept me going for sure.

Have a good week, (((hugs))) from Sue.