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An irritable vent


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WARNING! I am in a bad mood and I'm sure what I'm about to write will offend someone who is feeling wimpy today. But I was just reading the board and rather then post my feelings on a thread and hurt someones feelings, I thought this is a much better place to vent.

Why is it that some people have to be so meladramatic over stroke???? What, like having a stroke was no big deal in the first place? Or better yet, I love those that are of the mind that their situation is so much worse off then every one else. Give me a break! At this moment I am so sick of the whining. I feel like saying across the board, get over it! Give me a break! I think I'm about burnt out on this support business. There was a reason I never got involved pre stroke, I couldn't stand the politics and the whining and shirking of responsibilities. Now before I get blasted that the site is a place to vent, a safe place. Sure it is, but I just am sick of all the safe venting going on that is so loud. I am finding it hard to find empathy for ones who can't get out of their own way. Or the ones who can't figure out things for their survivors to fill their days. Hello???? Like, what did they all do pre stroke? Why is it so tough to know ones limitations and work with those? I know it is tough to find stuff to do. But it isn't impossible! Quit making the stroke harder then it already is!

Like I said, all this support stuff is burning me out, amoung other things. I'm tired of being expected to have all the answers, to know where the map is for the silver bullet. Now way back whenever it was I started hosting, I was enthusiastic and I really believed in support. I gave it 120 percent and I spent many hours happily one on one with survivors. Well I am no longer willing to make such a time commitment. With all the whining going on, I feel unappreciated for what everyone of us volunteers does here. It is so easy to complain about things, but it is just as easy to stop and appreciate what is available for free.

Pam

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Guest lwisman

Posted

Hey Pam,

 

Sorry you are having a bad day.

 

Remember that there are a lot of people here who don't have your years of experience. They have to learn all the ins and outs of strokes.

 

You do a great job. Don't let people get to you. Sometimes they are a little touchier than most of us would like.

 

Take care and let Stockings and Petey give you some hugs.

 

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Pam,

 

I opened this fast reply intending to give few hugs of my own and then I sat starring at the screen, not knowing what to say because I know exactly where you're coming from.

 

It's sad and frustrating that some people can't appreciate the hours and hours that people here on staff (visible and invisible) donate. This place can't run by itself and volunteers are hard to come by, yet the critics are right there to complain. What we staff need to do is keep our perspective, that the percentage of complainers are very small...they just have loud voices. But that is hard to do when you're donating enough time to hold down a full time job and someone who hasn't got a clue of the hugh undertaking it is to run a site like this is knit-picking and name calling.

 

I guess I'd better quit before I end up hi-jacking your blog with my own bitching session, which I am dangerously close to doing.

 

Jean

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I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE HURTING INSIDE BECAUSE OF A DEVASTATING LOSS OF THEIR OWN, OR A LOVED ONE, WHO COMES HERE TO VENT, WHINE, COMPLAIN, WHATEVER TITLE ONE GIVES IT, SHOULD BE CHASTISED. IN REALITY, MOST "NORMAL" PEOPLE, WHO HAVE NEVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING A STROKE OR OTHER DEVASTING ILLNESS OR INJURY RIP THE VERY SOUL FROM THEIR HEARTS, CAN UNDERSTAND, EMPATHIZE , AND QUITE FRANKLY, PROBABLY DON'T REALLY CARE OR WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

 

 

SO, HERE WE ARE, A DIVERSE GROUP IN AGE/SEX/HUMOR/RELIGION/ETC... , BUT WITH ONE HUGE COMMONALITY:::::::: THE MONSTOR STROKE HAS TAKEN AWAY A PART OF US OR A LOVED ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SURE, WE CAN ALL STRIVE WHETHER C/G OR SURVIVORS TO GET BETTER AND IMPROVE, AND I THINK FOR THE MOST PART , WE DO THAT.

 

 

BUT, LIFE IS A STRUGGLE IN REGARDS TO THIS FOR BOTH C/G AND SURVIVOR. THERE'S THE ADDED BURDEN OF FINANCIAL PROBLEMS IN MANY CASES, LOSS OF "MATRIMONIAL RELATIONS", LONLINESS, FEELINGS OF DESPAIR OR DEPRESSION WHEN IT IS CLEAR THAT SO FEW "FRIENDS AND FAMILY" REALLY CARE. AT LEAST NOT ENOUGH TO HELP OUT A CAREGIVER OR SPEND TIME WITH A SURVIVOR.

 

WHERE IS EVERYBODY????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!

 

I HAVE BEEN THROUGH MOST ALL OF THESE FEELINGS AND PROBABLY WILL CONTINUE TO FOR SOME TIME. WHAT DOES NOT, AT ALL BOTHER ME, IN THE LEAST, IS WHEN A FELLOW MEMBER CHOOSES TO VENT TO ME PERSONALLY, OR ON THE SITE IN GENERAL. I KNOW I HAVE DONE IT. I FELT SAFE, SECURE, AND LIKE THERE WERE PEOPLE HERE WHO REALLY CARED AND UNDERSTOOD.

 

I WOULDN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ANY MEMBER REGARDLESS OF IF THEY WERE A NEWBIE OR AN "OLD TIMER". WE NEED EACH OTHER, AND I FOR ONE, ENJOY THIS COMRADDERY. MY HEART FILLS UP WITH PASSION AND LOVE WHEN I AM ABLE TO MAKE SOMEONE FEEL BETTER. I AM EVER SO HUMBLE AND GRATEFUL WHEN SOMEONE LISTENS TO ME AND EXTENDS THEIR HAND IN COMPASSION. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE, THAT'S WHY I WILL STAY.

 

WE ALL GET FRUSTRATED LIKE PAM TODAY. BUT WE HAVE EACH OTHER, AND THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE GOT TO REMEMBER.

 

 

 

KIM pash.gifpash.gifpash.gifpash.gifpash.gifpash.gifpash.gif

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Pam:

 

please don't ever stop coming to this site, I come and check thislite evry few hours for your and Jean's blogs and comfort words to others, I know sometime its frustrating to hear others whine about their small problems when you have lost so much, but that's y you are mentor, you have wisdom of thinking clear headedly, I don't know Pam how you do it, but you are giant . I hope I get part of stength and,ourage you have, I come to chat hoping you and ?Jean would be there, but haven't seen you guys for couple of days, at this rate I should also stop coming to chat.

 

lots of hugs

ASha

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I fully understand Pam;

 

What I do is stop posting on the board for a bit. I scan the board and reply to posts that are technical or are responding to my posts, but refrain from advice and welcomes for a few days. It's like taking a break and getting away for some me time smile.gif .

 

Hope you're feeling better tomorrow.

 

Michael

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PAM

 

WE LOVE YA! BY THE WAY, DID YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE TODAY WITH SUCH A BAD CASE OF PMS ?

 

WISHFUL THINKING DRIVES ME CRAZY ALSO. WE HAVE TO ACCEPT WHO WE ARE, WHAT WE CAN DO, WHERE WE CAN GO AND HOW WE CAN GET THERE.

ONCE WE REALIZE THERE ARE NO EASY OR QUICK SOLUTIONS,THEN WE CAN STOP WORRY ING AND GET ON WITH LIFE.

 

MARTY smile.gif

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I have the perfect solution for you Pam don't read the message board its that simple. Remember there are different strokes for different folks pardon the pun thats how that old saying goes , right ?

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