Today we had a person from the Department of Human Services come visit us to determine if Patrick was eligable to have someone come in for a few hours while I was at work. They will make sure he takes his pm meds, make his dinner, and stay for a bit. They approved us for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. That is good news for me, a little less stress on preparing meals. I hope this service proves to be helpful. I can hire someone myself to do it if I want, unfortunately, I don't have many friends in the town and no family, so I will probably have to use someone from an agency. We'll give it a try and see how it goes.

The bad part about her visit was the assessment to see if Patrick qualified for the services. She had to ask him basic questions like, "what is today's date" and "what is your address" "can you spell 'world' backwards" and other fun questions like that. Of course Patrick has aphasia, so even when he knew the answers, he couldn't get it out. He began to cry. I am sure it was a blatant reminder of deficits. She apologized to him for getting him upset, but then would say "oh, these are just silly questions I have to ask. Don't let it bother you." I could read his thoughts: "Yeah, it's silly, and I can't even answer it. And now I am so helpless that I need someone to come in to help me." I felt so bad.

Then when I got up to get some info for her, she asked him what he used to do before he "decided to stay home". Of course he couldn't answer, so I told her he worked part time as a server, and weekends on a radio station as a DJ. She said, "I bet the radio station was the fun one". I am thinking "Yes, please continue to remind him that he can not even state our address let alone get behind the mic again, which was his passion". His tears started again.

When we were finished and I walked the lady to her car, she turned to me and apologized again and said "I am sorry I got him upset. People react so differently."

I know she sincerely didn't realize what she was saying to him, how he would take it.

I told Patrick that the services she was going to provide us with was more to help me than to help him. Now I just need to try to build his spirits up again. I hope I am able to pull a trick out of my magic bag and make it happen.