What do I do with my time? Life seems to be full on at present with the new minister not selected yet and a lot of my time taken up with extra church services and of course visiting in nursing homes. I now have nine little old ladies to visit, two of them are personal, a lovely lady Lion who had a stroke and has been in a nursing home now for four years and my daughter's godmother who lives in the assisted living units in the same complex. The rest are church people but now in two facilities not one. For some reason it has taken me two weeks to visit them all and I now have an extra person to visit so it is taking me forever.

Easter and the time leading up to it is a time for contemplation and renewal. In the northern hemisphere with the ice melting, the streams running full and all the baby birds and animals I guess that is a time for rejoicing too. Here in Australia where we are going from summer into winter it is a time for thankfulness for what we have had and sobering thoughts of what may lie ahead for us as winter approaches so a time to ask for courage for the journey. We need a lot of courage as death stalks the old ones and we hear tales of the horrendous flus and viruses to come.

On my widow journey it is time to plan for the days when all doors are shut and people stay inside and I will be alone and feeling the loneliness once more. I need piles of books, plenty of craft material so that when the days are short and grey and gloomy I can sit down alone and keep myself busy. Hopefully too busy to throw a pity party. I can still get out but a lot of the ladies I have coffee with will not risk the shops during cold and flu season so I don't see them for a while. Luckily I have not been too badly affected in the past so hope to go through winter without too much bother this year too.

One of the ways I can keep in touch during the colder months is via Skype and Facebook chat. This week I was lucky enough to speak to my grand daughter Alice on Skype. She has no concept of distance at 2 1/2 so thinks Granny lives close by. On Skype I play games, this week I was a crocodile and snapping at her so she would run away from Trevor's computer screen screaming, come back and say :"Do it some more." I love to talk to her on Skype as I know that way she will not forget who I am. It is important that she remember me. I just wish she was a whole lot closer so I could drive to where she lives.

I am on Skype and talk to Jeannie (jeanniebeannie) and at first we laughed at each others accents but now we just talk as old friends do. It is more personal than typing chat and in a way the facial expressions help. Of course it is distracting too. But it is good to have access to friends in many ways, the phone, the computer or tablet or whatever you have and if you can do it, in person. It is unlikely to happen with so many of you who are my friends here on Strokenet because of the distance in between us but who knows? sometimes life surprises us. And there is a place for members meeting members to post on the forums so if you are lucky enough to meet up with someone else from Strokenet then you can post your pictures in the gallery and do a post there.

Daylight saving finishes for us on Easter Sunday. I will be sorry to lose the longer evenings but already there are plenty of signs that winter is coming. I have missed the outdoor BBQs Trevor used do for us, the scent of the spicy chicken wings he used to cook in his own round BBQ with special herbs and spices and all the usual family summer fun. With the family so scattered none of that happened. So sad. I don't know how to introduce any of the summer fun back into my life. I guess I will have to find my own ways of celebrating summer, of doing the changes of the seasons and of celebrating my own milestones now.

I have been swimming a few times at one of the safer beaches. With so much church work that has been about the extent of my personal time, most of it has been spent at home catching up with the housework. I am busy because I choose to be busy. Busy for me as always had the effect of reducing my moping time. All the time I am busy I don't have time to do a "poor me", all the time I am busy I feel useful. I told an old friend tonight that I don't have time to think if I am busy and I do worry sometimes, about the intrinsics of ageing, growing old alone, and the question "who will look after me when I am old" always pops into my head whether I like it or not.

And so it is time to say farewell to summer, sleeveless dresses, shorts and tops, sandals and what you call flip flops and we call a pair of thongs. It is time to look at the winter wardrobe and see if it is wearable, fashionable doesn't come into it. I have recycled my clothes over so many years it is hard to tell what era the garment is from, but that is okay as long as it suits me. I am no fashionista and come from the era of co-ordinated skirts and jackets so plenty for me to wear. And that coupled with the things to keep me occupied there is nothing more I really have to do to prepare physically for winter but a lot I think to do mentally to prepare myself for that bleak season.