I understand how hard this must be for you to feel misunderstood by your friend that you shaved your hair off for. I also really understand what it is like to not fit back into your own life post stroke.  I am proud of you that you had courage to go out for dancing when I know what it is like with vestibular stuff going on. For me the grocery store is a tough environment and noisy restaurants are still a challenge.

K you are a great person with depth and substance and heart.  I hope your friend understands how hard this night out was for you and that your friendship can flourish beyond just a social outing thing.

For me at least, with my vestibular stuff going on that no one can understand and people with physical problems always want to cheer me with their recovery stories but it is really different when it is this stroke package and not the same as other recoveries. Of course you know already but it doesn't make it easier to know and still hurts me to feel left out. 

Maybe you are just grown beyond what used to be satisfying and meaningful has changed for you.  Maybe that is something to celebrate too.  Maybe you can talk with your friend later and see how it was from her perspective. it may not be as bad as you think.

I am so sorry because I know what it is like to feel like a mac truck hit.  I think you are awesome for wanting to go out and have fun and be around people.  I know that I get tired out easily and that the busier the environment then the more stimulation I have to process which is so exhausting.But I still want to go for as long as I want to be there.  I hope that you can get to go do some fun things again. Don't give up.

Friendships with bumps are sometimes richer in the end. I hope that is the case. If not then I hope you know how special you are on here and what a difference you make for so many people. I bet that you could get another buddy for outings you would like to go on.  Your friend is dealing with her own stuff so perhaps she just isn't able to reach out to you in the way you need.  You are still awesome for supporting her.

As you have had a lot of experiences that have changed who you are and how you feel about life so maybe you have grown out of stuff your friend is still very involved in.  It is hard. And you will mourn that as another loss due to stroke.

My caregiving experiences have put me on a level beyond what some of my friends can comprehend so my friendship group has really changed a lot.  I am happy and sad about that, but tell myself some day when trouble hits them maybe we will get together again.  In the meantime I have made friends of people who do understand what I have been through and where I am at now.

kelly :

I am sorry your clubbing out with your best friend did not go as well you had hoped for. I feel in life as we grow old & grow with experiences we tend to move on & change friends. life is all about change, friends you had as toddler will not be there as you become teenager & then adult. I know its hard  but change does not mean good or bad it is just different. Sometimes God closes one window but does open up better door near by, but in our grief we tend to ficus on closed window & miss door of opportunity near by. who knows maybe you will meet someone better who will match your new spiritual growth in life as new friend . keep on doing your best & things will work out in end in your favor.

Asha

thank you all for your words of encouragement. I told her I can't do this anymore and she was OK... ( i hope) and if not ...blah  

Hi Kelli,  we all grow up, and having a stroke does  change you.  I also learn that some  people come into our life for a "season".  Like Asha mention,  some friends  we find that as we grow some do not.  good for you standing up for your self, and if she can not see that the Party scene is not for you, all well life goes on. 

Hugs Yvonne