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ELIMINATE STROKE NETWORK


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I'VE POSTED 658 TIMES SINCE 4/04. I'VE BEN READING POSTS AND BLOGS AND I WONDER HOW MANY TIMES I'VE USED THE WORDS, SLOW RECOVERY, PATIENCE, HOPE, NEVER GIVE UP, SMILE, EXERCISE, DON'T WORRY, WILL GET BETTER, ALL STROKES ARE NOT ALIKE, ETC. ETC. ETC. SURVIVORS AND CAREGIVERS FEARING THE FUTURE, LOOK FOR ADVICE ON WHAT TO EXPECT. WOULDN'T BE NICE IF THERE WERE 1 POST TO COVER IT ALL

 

"WELCOME TO THE RECOVERY NETWORK. THE STROKE YOU HAD IS MUCH LIKE THE FLU AND WILL PASS IN ABOUT 2 WEEKS. IF YOUR LEG IIS NUMB, PRACTICE KICKING AT YOUR BOSS, NEIGHBOR OR ANYONE YOU DON'T LIKE. REMEMBER TO BEND AT THE KNEE. LEG MOTION SHOULD BE GOOD IN 5 DAYS. IF BALANCE IS A PROBLEM, STAND ON THE GOOD LEG FOR ONE HOUR A DAY FOR 3 DAYS. BALANCE WILL RETURN. FOR ARM AND FINGER IMPROVEMENTS, HANDCUFF YOUR WRISTS TO THE HEADBOARD. PRACTICE TRYING TO FREE YOURSELF.( NOT ONLY WILL THIS HASTEN IMPROVEMENT, BUT WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT WHILE TRYING. IF SWALLOWING PROBLEMS PERSIST. DRINK WENDY'S FROSTIES FOR 6 DAYS. THE COLD WILL SCARE YOUR THROAT OPEN. IF SPEECH NEEDS HELP, READ THE DICTIONARY OUT LOUD FROM A - Z. RECOVERY IS 1 WEEK FOR THOSE WHO SPEAK ENGLISH, 2 WEEKS FOR ALL OTHERS. IF MEMORY LAPSES, READ THE ENTIRE ENCYCLOPEDIA. THIS COULD TAKE 3 WEEKS. IF INSOMNIA PERSISTS, STAY AWAKE FOR THREE DAYS. THEN GO TO SLEEP AT 9 PM ON THE THIRD DAY. THIS WILL BE THE START OF REGULAR SLEEP CYCLE. ORDER THE 1 PILL THAT TAKES CARE OF BLOOD, CHOLESTEROL, WEIGHT, DEPRESSION,AND BUILDS IMMUNITY IN YOUR SYSTEM TO PREVENT ANOTHER STROKE. COST IS $.10/ A PILL AND NEEDS TO BE TAKEN ONCE A DAY FOR 10 DAYS. IF YOU DO ALL THE ABOVE, YOU WON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY, BE ANXIOUS, OR DEPRESSED."

 

AH, WISHFUL THINKING. IF IT WERE THAT EASY WE WOULDN'T NEED EACH OTHER AND THAT WOULD BE A TRAGEDY.

 

NOW I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AT 3 AM.

 

MARTY smile.gif

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Marty,

 

Put this blog with my 'Coping 101' blog where I tell people to take two aspirins by morning their speech problems will disappear and between the two of us we've covered all the stroke advice that people want to hear....

 

Jean

 

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LMAO! cocktail.gifbeer.gifcocktail.gifbeer.gif

 

The only thing you missed was vertigo increasing and how to solve or at least "deal with it". I tried (did)going up in John Hancock in Chicago just couldn't get myself to the windows! beer.gif

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