I have a diagnosis of central pain syndrome.

I need pain pills around the clock.

I have to ask for norco to get it here.I asked the doc here for an order to get it around the clock. She said no. I called my pain doc,my pcp too, and they said they cant help me in here. I set my phone alarm and I ask for it.But sometimes I sleep through becuz I forget to set it. Like this morning I have virus so weak tired. But I awoke in horrible pain.two hours late for pain meds. I could not sit up and asked for help to take the pill she gave me. She set water on the table out of reach. I begged. She said she had to give the lady next to me her meds. I said ok. Then she said why didnt I take the pill when I was crying and crying out. Nerve pain really hurts. I asked for help sitting up and getting water. She said She gave me the pull 10 min ago so I should take it. I asked her why didnt she help me.why was she nasty seeing me in pain.she said no one called her nasty and asked the other patient if she was nasty. What do you suppose she said? I asked the nurse if she ever had pain and needed help. The nurse said she never had pain because she PRAYED. I said I did pray,but sometimes it is answered with a PAIN PILL.maybe I should have asked her to pray for me.

I pushed the call button and got help to the toilet crying in pAin the whole time and the kind assistant got the supervisor because I asked to see the doctor.then she brought in a cup of tea without me even asking. I thanked her for kindness.

Sup told me doc is in this morning and will see me. If I had a dime for everytime they told me that. I thanked her. I didnt tell her about the nurse god spared from pain. My pain makes me short of breath...need to save it. I saw the doc at 8pm after I was here a week. She woke me up. I dont even recall what we said.

I had I V antibiotics in hospital for kidney infection and given fluids over the 3 days I was there.Then on pills for two weeks here. Ladies, I got a yeast infection. I was given a dime sized dollup of cream in a med cup by a male nurse. I asked what do I do with this? He said it is the cream. I said how do I use it without an applicator and he asked if I needed his help. I knew he was clueless about Monistat. So I spent the next day speaking to nurses who told me the night nurse had cream for me. That night he was there again with the little dollup completely worthless. Next night a nurse gave me an applicator from the box and didnt believe me. I said I wont get the full treatment now and she ignored me. At end of week I was still having symptoms. I was told every day the doc will see you.no show. I went to my pcp after I got van to take me. I got diflucan pill and I feel better. Woman Nurse here said why get pill when I already had cream. I said bcuz it didnt work.

I try hard to always be a lady in thought,language,deed. Being tested with pain makes me more outspoken but not ugly. I believe no one takes you seriously if you behave badly so I advocate intensely but appropriately. But any challenge here is defiance. It would be different if a caregiver was here to advocate for me. Everyone in a snf needs that.

I told my kids to stay away so they are not bullied and made to feel guilty they cant take csre of me anymore. They are too young and not good advocates anyway.They disappointed me but they are early 20s and not ready for battle. I protect them. My best friend is angry but I said I cant talk about it. I Feel I failed everyone by having this stroke. And now today some nurse tells me god ignores my prayers too

I believe that for every unkindness,there are two kindnesses. We just have to look for it sometimes. I always look.

Ok on a happier note:

I have had a weekly manicure here by a cheerful kind woman. She put on a beautiful light blue polish with a silver glitter top coat. It has lasted. It raises my spirits to have pretty nails.

Four days per week there is bingo. The prizes are snacks. I like the popcorn and chips. I have won blackout twice. I usually win a few bingos every game. I get to know the other residents. They wave at me.

Some have been here for years.

Some cnas bring me night time snacks before I ask.

I love tea and I have a stash o creamer and sweetnlow. Some bring me hot water before I ask.

the kitchen staff are awesome. If I dont like the menu I can get a fruit plate or salad which is great. Or I can get a made to order cheese burger with extra pickles. That rocks!

I always thought I would read if I had endless time. But I dont. I watch netflix onmy little phone. I love it. I fall asleep all the time. I cant believe I can with all the noise here. TVs go 24/7 and loud. Staff laughing,dishes clinking,foreign language conversations,music playing over speakers while big screen is on, snoring,people yelling for help. Noise.

i am in a room at the far end of the facility. Smokers sit outside near the back entrance near my door. They walk past my door. I smell cigarette smoke all the time. I am an ex smoker. It smells gross to me now but it plays with my mind. Stressed i long for a smoke. Then I am proud and pleased I dont want to smoke.