What Was That
Ok, so the morning nurse talks about how she worked at a haunted nursing home,talks about seeing ghosts in the old empty rooms.
She is interesting...
I am not a big fan of the breakfast menu. I eat cereal and fruit in tiny portions. My blood sugar has been around 86 to 90 something. Yesterday morning after my breakfast, and insulins,I got a sweaty hot flash,felt faint with that darkening around the edges feeling, and I felt short of breath, so I cried out for help,and pushed call button. The nurse with second sight ran in and put that thing on my finger,then hurried out saying my oxygen level was fine.
I had finished the food, was reading a magazine when I started feeling strange. I was waiting to make a phone call,was chatting with roomie,nothing different from any morning. But the sick feeling bore down on me. I said how I felț and reclined on the bed so my head was lower, and breathed slower more effort to fill lungs completely. But the black was threatening, the sick nausea overwheming, and the something is not right weighed me down. Tears flowed,hands shook, and I pleaded for help, I said I am so scared. So alone. WHY dont you people help me. Ok so that desperation scared me too.who says that? I laid back and gave me permission to faint,rest,give in to black. Then I heard roomie's voice saying my name and telling me I was not alone,do not be afraid. She said I had low blood sugar and I should eat. My disengaged mind creaked a gear!of course! I asked cna to get nurse,chek blood sugar. Then I heard irritated spirit- seerer nurse voice saing my blood sugar was fine and that I was having an anxiety attack. I said: Is that what you think this is? Aggravated nurse voice said: I am positive it is. My mind had relinquished for a moment there but the lack of concern or compassion in that nurse-voice snapped me back. She had left the room when I opened my eyes. The room spun and nausea continued. I tried to recall what was going on before this. Nothing anxiety provoking specifically more than usual here. The faint feeling so severe before the terror.
I asked for orange juice. The cna brought me two tiny glasses of sour orange juice. I gulped the first and sipped the second. Nurse gave me a dissolving tablet for nausea.
As I recovered,roomie told me her hubbie was diabetic and had low blood sugar sometimes. She said he would feel sick and faint,not even be able to speak his mind so jumbled, and get irritable mean or be frightened just terrified with anxiety. She would get him sugar and he would be alright. So that is how she was so calm with me. She knew what it was.
Or was it a panic attack. I have earned one. But I am newly on insulin. I also take glucophage. I handle my shots differently than they do in here.
Did I have an anxiety attack or a hypoglycemia event?
All I know is it was different from anything I ever experienced in my life. I was groggy and absolutely terrorized in what definately started as a faint feeling.
But what triggered it and what was it really?
I wish she had tested me.
I do not know what that was all about.
I do not like everything just attributed to anxiety attacks like I am just hysterical woman.
But I feel like Alice in the Twilight Zone, so maybe I am flipping out occasionally. But so if I am, the best they do is yell at me to be quiet,relax.
I am not sure why sipping juice helped. I know it took a while to be able to go about my day. I felt weak and shaky. I felt weak emotionally and humiliated.
Was it that the nurse should not have covered me with so much insulin or am I having a nervous break down?
In any case, a glass of orange juice and the compassionate confidence of roomie rather than the nurse voice, did the trick to set me right.
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