I went to a beautiful place to see the neurologist. There is a rock garden waterfall outside and the building is all glass. I sat in the waiting room and I was disappointed when they called me.

The neuroguy was older,straight shooter,informative, and normal. He called my stroke a lacunar stroke. He said the pain is typical and hard to manage but usually decreases and my leg may go numb eventually.He said keep walking for my balance problems. And he told me there is surgery for my eye problems, but I see a specialist soon. So much to take in.

A numb leg is my dream,but will I still walk.

He was frank about risk of future strokes. That worries me. He said stay in therapy. That was all the hope he offered, which is good. I am tired of hearing about slow progress so I will focus on the therapy plan regardless Because it is fun outing. Every person has opinion. He warned me about the risk of depression. It is a brain thing. Add a collapsed incinerated life,rinse,repeat. I am well medicated with effexor so I await the day I am jumping up on tables here singing opmpaapaa in sheer joy. So far I am battling stomach problems in all forms, which explains my loss of appetite. I bravely endure with other meds to solve those problems hoping I will adjust. What is not to be happy about.

He did not have any of my records. So here we go around about this again. My pcp nurse needs a cattle prodding to do anything. So I signed papers,was assured he would have them next time.

My foot feels the floor,my shoe,the sheets. I do not want it to go numb. Is all this pain only going to end that way? I was rather hoping for a healing,restoration. I want my leg back.

Sounded like I need to fight to hold ground here.

He never said I was addicted to pain meds and need to discontinue. That other neuro was wacko.

He did not tell me I am lucky to be alive. I am glad he did not say that. Honestly, some days that is up for debate.

Overall he seemed to get all of this. He even came back in the room and sat down again when I caught him with a last minute question at the door. I felt listened to,and I was.

Well I do not know my future,but my plans do not work out anyway. I have a freedom now to be in the moment. How wonderful at least to have normal doc after all those frogs. I wish I had been here at this place when I had the stroke.