I am driven crazy overstimulated with the noise,sounds here. My roomie's tv is on from 7am to midnight. She loves sitcoms with laugh tracks. I am afraid that my love of comedy is ruined now by my dislike of laugh tracks that seem unusually loud to me.

I had to be taken out of the dining hall fast when a singer used a microphone. The sound echoed all around me,crushing me physically like a star trek episode.

The ward is full of sounds. It puts me on edge. I long for solitude and silence. Well I am sick.

Plus I do not want to be in any more tiffs with staff. Unless I must.

My roomie pointed out that when I fight with that nurse,that I just get her more mad. I replied well I get more mad too and I am not afraid of her anger,only my own. Roomie is bullied by her husband but I keep mouth shut.She was afraid to tell the kitchen what she wanted to eat until I got here. I send slop back and get a fruit plate or sandwich.They do not ruin those. Some cnas would not want to go to kitchen and insist I eat what was put in front of me as if I am a child. I try and get menu to avoid this but I have a hard time getting those. So I would say take it away and I am diabetic,had insulin,so I need to eat. They would huff. Now they know I never eat menu food. Just the fish and rice is good. But roomie said oh they get mad at you. I said well I am not really a picky eater and I am mad this is alien food. I want something edible. Soon roomie sending back her food with complaint and she gets grilled cheese. Good for her. We all need to feel we have some choice and control. As a foodie,for me it starts here. But what is scary is to think of being afraid someone will get mad at you to the point you suffer in silence. And cnas are strangers,come and go. This is not adult behavior. It is institutionalization though. Conformity to the extreme. When you do not,they call patients a diva. So what as long as I get what I want LOL.

So anyway,back to the noise...I asked son to bring earbuds so I can listen to music,shows,drown out the noise using my cell phone. Distract me from Stress. He popped by with them today. They are pink decorated with glittery pink and silver zebra stripes,which I love animal prints. I was surprised because he knows I love gaudy, but he goes for plain.

Anyway they do the trick. I slept listening to sleep music. I did not hear bossy nurse arguing with other patients and cnas. The chaos was gone. I should have done this sooner. I took meds with earbuds in and who knows what nurse said. No baiting me to argue. If I need somthing,the day nurses do it. Lovely.

Now I can choose what I hear.