I am through all the September anniversaries, Father's Day, Ray's birthday and the anniversary of his death. I know it is now three years but not sure that makes a lot of difference. I had some sleepless nights the week leading up to the 19th, don't even know why, sometimes the worries you have are so deeply buried that your conscious mind cannot even access them. I do try not to worry, I do some self-talking along the lines of "pretend it is just another day" and hope that will convince my memory that all is well, but somehow deep down I have the grieving process going again and I cannot sleep. But for now all is well and I am going on with my life as best I can.

One of the things that lights up my life at the moment is the interaction I have with my littlest grand daughter Alice. My son Trevor has access to his daughter two days a week and on one and sometimes both days she rings me up and we have one of those delightful conversations you have with three year olds. Last week he took her to the local Show and about 9.45pm I got a call from them. In it she tried to tell me all that she did but of course she doesn't yet have the words for everything so he would say: "She is waving her arm round and round Mum, she had a ride on one of those rides where you sit in a teacup." After about 20 minutes of this we were all exhausted but it was so good to share the event with her even if she is 17 hours drive away from here.

Alice is a girly girl but when she was asked what she wanted in the way of face painting she elected to be Spider Girl. The artist did a good job and Spider Girl she was. Trevor said he wasn't going to wash her face at that late hour so I have a delightful photo of her asleep with the face paint still in place. A bath the next day and she was clean again. She and Trevor enjoy their time together, he is building her a fairy garden with small windmills, lanterns, solar lights and a string of fairy lights so far. She loves it when the lights are glowing and she can see it all lit up. It really doesn't take a lot to please small children if they are brought up to use their imagination.

Last Saturday was the third anniversary of Ray's passing. I went to a large church event about two hours drive north of here with a friend. I had forgotten how much singing in a large group of people who love to sing means to me. It is not something I do a lot of and it was so exhilarating. The friend I went with is an organist and at the last moment stepped in for the woman who was supposed to play. Seems the woman's husband had a stroke on Wednesday and was rushed to one of the bigger hospitals which has a good stroke team. Cate said to me "I was more than willing to help out, I know how she must feel as I have seen what you went through." We have to remember that people do see us and hear us and take in the knowledge of stroke that we share with them, and in doing so that makes a difference to how they react to others as well.

It is raining and quite cold today. Winter temperatures all along the coast and gale force winds some places. Our area is still recovering from the hail storm last week. The hailstorm last Thursday devastated the villages both sides of where I live, we only got the edge of it thank goodness but still I was worried about it. I didn't do so well in the last hailstorm as the hail built up in the gutters and overflowed into the back room. This time the gutters overflowed but nothing came inside. An old friend had cleaned out my gutters and they carried off a lot of icy, slushy water. I had to go to a 98th birthday afternoon tea so I got in the car as soon as it seemed over. I went through Wamberal just after the hail stopped and it looked like the Snowy Mountains, hail piled deep on the sides of the road. I had to change lanes and of course got caught up in the pile of hail in the middle and fishtailed a bit but as there was nothing alongside of me and nothing behind me I came out of it and I was okay.

I have been putting a lot of effort into my garden and the many plants I have in pots. I have a good friend who got me some poultry manure, a really practical gift, and so that is being added as a soil improver. So hoping for bigger and better tomatoes this year. I picked and ate my first bunch of spinach yesterday. A friend who lives in the area worst hit by the hail storm lost a lot of her vegetable garden but unfortunately my crop is designed for one person so not enough spinach to share with her as yet. Maybe in a week or so I will have enough to share. I seem to have enough flowers to take to my daughter's godmother when I visit her at the nursing home. She loves a little hand-picked bouquet. She always had a lovely garden and says that is something she really missed when she first went into care.

Well, the storm is passing over again and I have just had to turn the light on so I had better get off this computer. I guess the weather is always very variable this time of the year but must say I am sorry for the tourists and their families who are in the camp grounds for holidays with the kids locally on the Spring break. I can imagine a young family, canvas flapping in the Spring wind and the rain pouring down and...well, thank goodness I am inside.