So I went out to an early morning appointment and left word I was going out for lunch. I took my meds along. I am battling stomach issues on these pain killers. Plus I am groggy more than usual.

But that did not stop me from enjoying a day out shopping for some things I needed and going to salon for a real hair cut. I had coupon too. I got my hair back in my old cute style despite letting it grow out for so many months. Now it is short and sassy again. Then we went for Italian food. I did well eating after taking nausea med but not like I did before. My appetite is worn out and taste is dulled. I thought it would be as I remembered at my fav restaurant. It was a fun outing there. I practiced new skills I learned in therapy.

I was given a set of bracelets from my daughter who said I was naked without some on my arms as usual. I had not brought any. I do feel better with them. How lovely to feel loved and missed.

And we talked about future little outings no too far until this pain thing gets fixed.

I was out at night with the windows down and the wind blowing balmy fresh air through my hair cut. The lights of the city are breath taking.

But it was bitter sweet knowing I had to go back to my room, and remembering how I once had so much freedom to go and do and be. Yet grateful there are more things to savor and experience.

And some things I can still do like give the girls fancy braids before we left.

They sent me pictures from yoga class,thrilled the braids lasted.

And so I returned,with a sack of snacks and necessary luxuries,and a couple of tank tops for therapy,a gift of bracelets, and a heart filled with love overflowing,and filled to the brim.

I went back with mixed emotions. I was glad I escaped for a time, but I mourned as memories of places,people,time Standing still in snapshots as I passed by in a whole body,the one that is mine gone missing. But here I am longing daily to go out, be places,relive traditions.

To feel tears of real joy and true deep sadness mingling.

I have more therapy sessions to do. I am learning new techniques.

I am going to get a manicure and be ready for my next Big Day Out.

I am not ready to be engulfed in this place.

Update on roomie #2

She is finally getting IV because she stopped eating and drinking.

I asked how she was and was told I cant be told things. I appreciate privacy laws, so I just keep spying as much as possible.

I wonder why no feeding tube.

We pray for her.

Play hard and sleep easy my friends.