They brought the wrong style and color of hand brace but it was the correct brand. They agreed to bring the correct one soon. Almost success. The supervisor from insurance called me. She said that my hand splint situation is rare. I bet it is. Few people will refuse to take no for an answer and will break down and buy their own or forget it.

And then the insurance wanted to know how long I will be here and promised to help me find a new home. I cannot say how thrilled I was to hear that.

I did not go play bingo. The staff member came and said there was bingo today. I said ok. Now this person usually finds me rapidly finishing lunch getting ready to go. But I lingered. I already had decided to avoid bingo. The staff involved in the table eviction events are also involved with bingo. I feel that being around them will trigger emotions I know I cannot deal with,despite my vast medications. Anyway,one staff came in and asked if I was going to make it because it was about to start. Nice. They have done this before. I am a loyal participant. I actually honestly was on the phone when he came in, so I shook my head,pointed at the phone and said I have a call. Someone totaled their car and needed to Talk. I was grateful to turn my attention elsewhere. Then later,after bingo was over,the lady I usually sit next to,save seats for,and dearly like,came to my room to visit. I was in the restroom and hollered through the door,my heartfelt thanks that she had come by,and assured her I was ok. She invited me to come visit her.

But I am not ok. I am hiding,avoiding the staff involved with it all. For my sake. I do not need to be stuffing down emotions, picking my battles by Discounting my feelings,and going through that strain of pretending to feel things I do not. In reality I felt that way before the dining hall events. But I enjoyed friends and the game,so I endured. I enjoyed snacks when I had low blood sugar. I liked winning,yelling bingo. But staff hangs out around the nurse station next to bingo area,and a few staff are directy involved with leading bingo.

I feel bad ashamed i cannot leave my little area. I feel protected in my little radious around my bed. But omg now I am stuck with reeking Roomie. My mind says do not let them do this,get out and fight,live well. Just like the support of the director helped,her turning on me,lack of it,devastated me. I was upset when roomie told me I went too far,and then today she made up some version that she told the director she complained too. She did not. Absolutely complained to me but was afraid to speak up. That is ok but now I listen to the unreality show. She goes on about how they might give my bed to someone with lots of tubes and alarms on iv stands. I am touched I will be missed. She thinks I will moved. So that is just another stress thing, now having to deal with her.

It just is not worth my health trying to hold down feelings trying to make it not bother me. I do not understand why others do not understand why I am fed up.

I am just so ready for a change of scenery.

But it is nice to know I have made a few friends here.