I Talk to Everyone
When my girl was a teen,she rolled her eyes and said you talk to everyone. I did. Still do.I like people.
So,here I am,in a hospital gown,not even my own clothes, bedhead hair, sitting watching a movie with Roomie, when a man from next room that I usually wave at, well he was in the doorway waving fingers.
This time he lingered so I introduced myself and Roomie. Then I asked him all about himself after we talked about the relentless boredom here. For a few minutes we had a chance to be less alone. He said he was not sociable and he liked to watch tv. Then he had to postpone searching for a comforter because his phone rang and he was saying pk son I am coming as he wheeled his chair back to his room. Then he suddenly reappeared saying hello girls,I am going back to find a comforter! His smile was huge on his handsome face with a missing eye.
I laughed! No sociable he had said. I waved and wished him good luck as if I was Sending him off on a journey. Roomie and I laughed,especially knowing there are light blankets and thin bed spreads here. Roomie said this is the lonely hearts club here.
Earlier today,the friend I played cards with,drank coffee/tea with at that table that day,the one they wheeled away,the one who said tough *beep* in hard to understand language when I explained the commotion was all about...she was wheeling herself past the door. I asked if I could hug her and did when she said yes. She looked at me and said I looked good. I said she looked beautiful. She said we are strong and showed her muscles. We laughed together. I asked her how bingo was going and she said she did not go any more. I said I did not go either. She said to me that I was ok and I said you are too. She wheeled out and I asked her to come back anytime. She knew my room number she said. And she rolled down the hall. We got to know each other that day in dining hall. I helped her in bingo,said when i win,you win,shared my winnings with her. That day it happened she told me I was too nice but told me no fighting. No one here confronts. I may learn the hard way why. She was protecting me,supporting me. But they wheeled her out of the dining room by the time I got out of the director's office. I am so glad I got to see her. I am so touched that my bingo friends came to see me.
Then my new neighbor friend rolled by again. He said he had not scored a blanket. And he tried to get a marker with no luck. I had my fav cna tonight and I asked him to help my neighbor. I hope he was able to.
Even when I stay in a stupor in my room, people are here to talk with. I am grateful. I do not even hear from my friend that told me I will have friends here that are in similar circumstance.
It could have been wonderful healing time for me here until that incident with staff.
I passed one of the men in hall and he hurried away again looking away. I ignore him. I know that there are some who think I should have gone with the flow. I have always been a salmon. In my world,no real men would take a woman's seat. I do indeed feel better I reported no matter what outcome. Justice is God's work. But I will not give in to bullies of any kind. At least that one lady was there and witnessed it. She knows but her speech is not clear. But she says I am strong. Sure. As I endlessly sob and run away.
There is love everywhere we just be open to find it.
I pray I may find courage to never be blind deaf,speechless in face of wrong because that is easier more comfortable.
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