Sounds like it may be hard work but if it is what you both want then you will do it somehow.  I hope you can get all you want put in place so you know what you can do and what the aides will have to do.  Being organised is what it takes to make it happen. Take time out to take care of yourself too.

Sue.

Thanks Sue, I'm always the optimist so I'm trying to channel only good thoughts.  Guess I'll deal with the bad when it happens, he really has made amazing progress in the last month or so.  We're still on for a trip to visit my sister in Calif in Feb (or maybe March now, she has others booked too).  I know that will be totally stressful but also a good test for him.  And for me too.

I told him from Day One he's coming home so I have to keep my word.  Besides which, with the reverse mortgage we have, if he doesn't come back home I either have to sell the house immediately or pay $10,000 to close again, with my name on the deed this time.  I don't turn 62 until April so couldn't be on it first time around, however I'm not really into that extra expense coming out of my equity.  It's a big consideration:  If I sell the house I'd move away closer to family anyway, so another whole ball of wax.  Just the thought of finding specialists or a new facility for Ray in a strange place gives me pause.

This time I already know I'm requesting maximum in-home aid, and that might be the worst part in the end:  Having someone in the house almost all the time.  In a way I'm glad he's not cleared for stairs yet, so I can hide upstairs if I want.  Time will tell, that's for sure  ;-)

Wow, I know this is what you wanted and Ray will be so happy to be home. 

Make sure you take good notes now as it is difficult to get in touch with the experts once you are home.  The home therapy will be a welcome help as this is going to be a new ballgame for you when Ray comes home.  Trust me, get all the help you can.  I was so grateful my son was here to help me when Larry came home from the SNF early this year.  And you doing Christmas dinner for your company!  All I can say is, you are one super caregiver!  Hope your company can at least help prep and clean up. 

Take care and don't get too crazy with Christmas.  Ray will just enjoy being home.  

I wish you the best,

Julie

Christmas will be "easy", because I'm only doing a pasta and antipasta meal, and not the "Fish Feast" the night before that is a family tradition.  I could also make fresh pasta....but I'm not!  No Boil noodles are good enough I say.  I called his brother and sister's bluff on Thanksgiving, said I'm not eating if Ray's not eating, and to my surprise they proposed a visit to him that day followed by dinner out.  So guess I can handle one little ol' meal out of the three major ones I usually make this time of year.

And no, it's tradition for them not to chip in much of anything, including help.  I somehow stepped into the role of their Mom many years ago, after she fell ill.  I figure it's not forever, so what's  a few more years?  Because there's a good chance we'll be moving closer to one of the branches of my family before too long anyway.