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Thanks Katrina ( Cagedbird)


ksmith

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It struck me how Katrina was a part of my psyche. I was heading back to my sons house when I became overwhelmed with the thoughts of dating again. How we were predisposed to many ideals of how 'Beauty makes you happy" I admit that for most of my life I've suffered from Body Dysmorphia. I've seen doctors and been in and out of therapists offices for years to no avail.But that's neither here nor there... ANYWAY I gained a bunch of weight but have lost some and now upset that the person who i meet in the future will except all my baggage. I know that sometimes I give off the vibe of self-esteem but not really.The more upset I get I think of Katrina and her experiences in the dating world and she truly is my inspiration in my quest. I'm just scared. Right now with the up and down to ex-husbands is the main reason I can't make plans but it is to be with my son. (Not like I have plans) But i'm enjoying the time he, my son, is young for my older son i had to work and missed a lot but we can't turn back time.

 

I'm jealous of my mother, which sounds so petty. She had the gastric Band done and has lost a bunch of weight. True she is 62 and has been struggling with it for YEARS. I know she is happy and has more energy but it makes me gutted when she says,' Come walk with me or ride your bike' Yes I would love to but there are many days which I can't get out of bed and the medicines I'm on. Not to mention the brain damage that causes my brain and stomach to not be on the same page. I can go hours and not eat for I'm truly not hungry so my body turns to starvation mode and holds on to everything I eat. My father suggested to drink at least a protein shake to make up for the calories. Well, that is a liquid diet and of course is you'll lose weight but once you eat.. BAM. weight back on. I am going through all of these emotions for my ex-husband is dating ( I'm truly happy..honest) but I'm always around him so I can't enjoy my time. I know I will once my son gets to be older. It might be winter blues...UGH.. just venting.

 

 

So Back to Katrina:

 

I often say that each and every one of you help me in some way and she is my guiding light in this. Her stories, triumphs and not so happy endings, help me in my future endeavors and I'm learning to be a brave and courageous as she.

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hey Kelli :

 

don't try to attach your happiness to your outside look  & material things, all those things don't matter unless you are going to earn your living by showing off your body in magazines & movies. I find weight  & outer look is such a superficial things  what really matters is how the person is in the inside. as long as you are healthy weight & not obese weight is the last thing in my mind. our happiness should be attached to other things which matter how good mom daughter or all roles we are playing in life. we in east believe god has made someone out there for every one. & you never know when & how u will meet the person. but eventually we all do & have to make best out of person we end up with. will pray for you.

 

 

 

Asha

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Yes, we all have people that inspire us here.  Asha is one of mine she taught me to "go with the flow'. You inspire me too Kelli, I can't imagine what it must be like to have no memories of the past as you do.  You do very well with what you have so don't feel less than a whole person, as I know you are a guiding light to many here too. Better to feel you are a work in progress as we all are.

 

(((hugs))) from Sue.

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Sue and Asha, you are mine as well. This post was just as if I were writing in a diary and as pathetic as it sounded, thanks. 

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The dating world sucks.  I know how you feel.  I look at myself and wonder why would someone want to be with me. My ex has made me feel "ugly" and I know I am not.  But in the back of mind I think well if I am not ugly why can't I meet someone. Then there are times when someone does talk to me and I start thinking, maybe being single isn't that bad. I then just put it as another chapter in my very small book called my crazy love life.  Beauty is best when it's from the inside.  Beauty from the inside out is what helps us, but we have to learn how to let ourselves feel beautiful on the inside first.

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The dating world sucks.  I know how you feel.  I look at myself and wonder why would someone want to be with me. My ex has made me feel "ugly" and I know I am not.  But in the back of mind I think well if I am not ugly why can't I meet someone. Then there are times when someone does talk to me and I start thinking, maybe being single isn't that bad. I then just put it as another chapter in my very small book called my crazy love life.  Beauty is best when it's from the inside.  Beauty from the inside out is what helps us, but we have to learn how to let ourselves feel beautiful on the inside first.

you summed it up beautifully 

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Hi Kellis, my single friends tell me that dating world susks.  I love Punchs comments, beauty is inside, and it shows on the outside.  Plus I know that there is someone for everyone, it will happen. I was with someone for 16years, he was cruel, and made me feel useless. Shouting at me,  a bully, then he cheated on me. I felt ugly, simple, and 

fat and a loser.  Came over to America, lost everything but my daughter.  For two years I was finding myself. Got a job, and met a co worker who told her brother about me, when I met him I though, " he is good looking, he won't want to be seem with me. So we have been married for 23years and have a 22year old Son!  Do not put anything pass  God.

 

Wishing you well

 

Yvonne

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