Life goes on, heading to winter, after a few sunny days a cloudy day yesterday and again today. It was our market day today at church and although it was wet and we didn't have a lot of stallholders I think it was a profitable day. I always enjoy the market as it is a good way to spend four or five hours and with plenty of people to talk to . Sometimes I even see folk from my past and enjoy a catch up. We have a woman who brings vegetables straight from the farm she and her husband run and they are snappy fresh and guaranteed to be full of flavour, so much better than what you can get in the shops.

I came home and revised the sermon for tomorrow. I only preach every couple of months now and that suits me as I don't need to be the person up the front now. I am content to work behind the scenes. I am on the church Council and we had a four hour meeting this week, it seemed very long and I really wonder about the efficient use of time. I am a widow and live alone so I have all the time in the world but still there is a lot to do and I would rather be out and about than discussing subjects that seem to be on the agenda month after month. Maybe there are some problems that just do not have an easy solution.

I got two messages on Tuesday to say that friends of mine had died. No wonder we are constantly grieving,at my age I seem to be losing a lot of older friends, friends that I can never replace. In the first case I had to make a few phone calls as it was an old friend I visit in a nursing home and I am the contact person for her old church friends, in the other I told my children as the person who rang me was the daughter of the woman who died but the death was three weeks ago. All my children knew this family so they will grieve too. Sometimes it takes me back into my old grief and sometimes I find I have moved on from there a little and I can cope.

I had my little grandsons stay the night on Tuesday night and that was good. They only stay two or three nights a yea now but know where to find the toys they want to play with, where the games are, how to operate the Nintendo Wii etc. That is one reason I haven't moved so far as in a different place, a different sized house the familiarity of this home, the only one they have known me to live in, would be gone. I remember how I felt when my parents sold the home I had lived in in my late teens and moved into a much smaller home. I was married and living here but that home contained a lot of my memories of growing up. I did get used to them living there but it was not "my home" any more.

The possums have attacked the parsley that was my pride and joy and my main ingredient in a lot of soups I was freezing for winter meals. Luckily they don't seem to like the mint and oregano so they are still thriving and I still have some parsley up the back. I knew they had attacked my neighbour's garden so was not surprised they finally found mine. My mother used to say that for every seed you planted here there were three or four bugs waiting to eat it. I have done well with herbs the past few years so next year will see if I can put a frame and some netting over them so I don't have the same thing happen again.

Still having some thoughts about a couple of winter excursions just to break the monotony and get away from home for a while. Last year I was in England for five weeks and that meant evading some of the winter chills but i am not planning on going overseas this year. It would be nice to go north to a slightly warmer climate for a while. I will see how things work out for me time wise. There are a lot of things on my bucket list still to do but I haven't got a companion to do things with so am not worried about travel at the moment. Ann Rogers and I hope to will get together in the USA one day, but not this year. And Sarah and I still plan to meet in Hawaii. It may just all be a daydream but it is those daydreams that keep us looking forward to good times ahead.

I have been so grateful to those people who have accompanied me on my life's journey which is why I mourn so many of my older friends who have passed away. Each death takes something from our lives as they often held memories that we may have forgotten. Which is why at my age any reunion is a great way to remember good times and meeting up with old friends is precious for the same reason. I recently missed a funeral and saw one of the daughters who said that many people there had asked after me. How nice to be remembered and what a shame I was not there to talk to them. But I enjoy my life mostly now and regrets are something I will not harbor. Life is short and happiness is hard to find so when I do have it in my life i am grateful.