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It's Okay to Laugh at a Funeral



I went to a memorial service this past week for a nice lady here in our park who passed away from side affects of chemo. She had been through several major medical challenges over the past few years...the most recent was colon cancer, chemo and several serious falls. I remember her telling me about six months ago when we were discussing end of life decisions that she didn't want a funeral when she died, but rather a party with food and drink and people laughing and enjoying themselves and remembering how she made them laugh. At one time in her earlier years she did clowning and even without the costume, she could be quite the clown. She had a personality larger than life and was a great influence on many people who crossed her path.


I wasn't surprised when I arrived at the memorial service that the tables were set up for dining, the long banquet tables at the front of the hall were covered with food and the bar was open with wine and beer. The minister announced the service would begin after everyone got their drink and filled their plate with food and enjoyed some dessert. We had about 40 minutes to clean up our plates before the minister began with a short reading and a hymn, and then several family members continued with readings and reminiscing about her life. During one of the readings, I heard a cell phone ring and it belonged to the 90 yr. old man sitting at the next table......he picked it up and answered it with a loud "HELLO" (he is somewhat hearing impaired so probably didn't realize how loud he was), at which time several older ladies tried to shush him and he responded with a loud "SHUT UP." I'm pretty sure the deceased was looking down and laughing at that one!


During another one of the readings, my neighbor leaned over and asked me "did those two older ladies just discuss how long the widower might be on the "open market" . I had to admit that I did overhear that conversation also. I couldn't help but laugh, and wonder who would do that at my service if I go before Gary does. I can't imagine that women would be lining up to take care of him......lol I'm not sure the deceased would have laughed at that one, but she also knows that the older widow ladies here in our park are good at that kind of chatter. lol


Overall, it was a nice service and she would have been proud of her family for pulling it off exactly as she would have wanted. She would have also been proud of how many friends she had made here and how many lives she had influenced.




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Sarah, what a lovely tribute to your friend her funeral was.  Yes, I don't want to have a solemn funeral either, I would rather one where people remembered the strange as well as the good things I have done. I must say i have been known to make a fool of myself, just to cheer people up.  I love that her wishes were honoured. Besides you are awesome too and I hope your family do realise that.

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My  Father, who  is well known in the communtiy, and very funny, want us to not cry, but celebrate his life.  Of course there be crying, but remembering the fun times is part of life. 


Good for her family, my  prayers  goes out to them.



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